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" Vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. "

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" I've learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it. "

" Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can't ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment's notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow - that's vulnerability. "

" To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That's why I don't listen to anything that's anonymous. But it's hard; when there's something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and explain my point of view to the person. "

" I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. "

" My husband's a pediatrician, so he and I talk about parenting all the time. You can't raise children who have more shame resilience than you do. "

" Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. "

" Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce. "

" It's hard to practice compassion when we're struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthiness is off-balance. "

" As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We're almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it's inviting disaster. "

" I can encourage my daughter to love her body, but what really matters are the observations she makes about my relationship with my own body. "

" The moment someone asks you to do something you don't have the time or inclination to do is fraught with vulnerability. "

" I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few. "

Black And White

" 'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us. "

" I'm just going to say it: I'm pro-guilt. Guilt is good. Guilt helps us stay on track because it's about our behavior. It occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our personal values. "

" Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak. "

" One thing that I tell people all the time is, 'I'm not going to answer a call from you after nine o'clock at night or before nine o'clock in the morning unless it's an emergency.' "

" Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous. "

" One of the things I did when I discovered this huge importance of being vulnerable is very happily moved away from the shame research, because that's such a downer, and people hate that topic. It's not that vulnerability is the upside, but it's better than shame, I guess. "

" I was raised in a family where vulnerability was barely tolerated: no training wheels on our bicycles, no goggles in the pool, just get it done. And so I grew up not only with discomfort about my own vulnerability, I didn't care for it in other people either. "

" I'm not a parenting expert. In fact, I'm not sure that I even believe in the idea of 'parenting experts.' I'm an engaged, imperfect parent and a passionate researcher. I'm an experienced mapmaker and a stumbling traveler. Like many of you, parenting is by far my boldest and most daring adventure. "

" Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children. "

" You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame. "

" I love to take, process and share photos - it fills me up. "

" As unique as we all are, an awful lot of us want the same things. We want to shake up our current less-than-fulfilling lives. We want to be happier, more loving, forgiving and connected with the people around us. "

" The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment. "

" When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible. "

" Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do 'faith.' "

" Maybe stories are just data with a soul. "

" Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. "

" If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency. "