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" The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill. "

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" Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved. "

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of. "

" Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth. "

" It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously. "

" In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from. "

" Men think about women. Women think about what men think about them. "

" It is youth that has discovered love as a weapon. "

" People who reach the top of the tree are only those who haven't got the qualifications to detain them at the bottom. "

" At the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords we're all Generals. Only some of us never grow out of it. "

" Courage is often lack of insight, whereas cowardice in many cases is based on good information. "

" Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them. "

" I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. "

" Once we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our mind, our duty is to furnish it well. "

" Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. "

" Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night. "

" The truth is an ambition which is beyond us. "

" By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door. "

" If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue. "

" The point of living and of being an optimist is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. "

" The habit of religion is oppressive, an easy way out of thought. "

" Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much. "

" The social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation. "

Social Sciences

" Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus. "

" Intelligent or not, we all make mistakes and perhaps the intelligent mistakes are the worst, because so much careful thought has gone into them. "

" I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilised music in the world. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" The French and the British are such good enemies that they can't resist being friends. "

" Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. "

" Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. "