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" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

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" I'm good at being funny. "

" I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. "

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" This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. "

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" Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. "

" I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. "

" Some of the best bad guys in movies are funny and charming. "

" Even Napoleon had his Watergate. "

" I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working. "

" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "

" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "

Henry Kissinger

" I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. "

" It's funny: I was a photographer before I was a programmer. "

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" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "

" It's funny: I can never sleep between shows; I think it's because I don't like to switch the motor off. I'll probably have some chicken or pasta, though never the two together, and maybe go out for a quick wander around. "

" There's one thing about baldness, it's neat. "

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" For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy. "

George A. Romero

" The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. "