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" The people on 'Quintuplets' were great, but I wasn't a producer on that show, and it wasn't exactly my taste. "

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" I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess. "

" The desire to do different things was the main motivator that made me leave late night because I'd been there seven years. The combination of an entrepreneurial desire to see how far I could push my success and a short attention span. But now I've done other things. And I'm sort of ready to sit somewhere and sit in the same place for a while. "

" I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good. "

" It's a very nice thing to have a baby. "

" There are naked people in boots on a mountain top firing guns. "

" If somebody's looking at pictures of naked people and you go, 'Oh I don't want to see that,' you're lying. Cause naked people are always interesting. Always. Whether they're beautiful, or naked or 500 pounds. "

" Anything that I read, I read because I'm interested in it. "

" If you start to just aim for what the audience wants to hear, you're already hamstrung because you don't have any freedom. "

" I mean, I'll say the filthiest things in the world, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a prude. "

" Some people are born with a brain that has this weird, magical mathematical thing that makes them an amazing jazz musician. "

" We've been swimming at nude beaches and I love to go skinny dipping, but I'm sorry, sitting on top of a mountain, that's just, you're trying to show off or something. That's ridiculous. "

" Since she got a cause and stopped being funny. I think she's real funny, but lately it's all been hearts and flowers and tears and saving teenagers and creating a role model. And that ain't funny. No giggles there. "

" Well, I refer to 'Celebrity Jeopardy ' as the short-bus 'Jeopardy,' because it is a lot easier. Like, there was a whole column basically naming stores in New York. "

" But I don't read a lot of fiction. I prefer the nonfiction stuff. "

" No, I don't know any Emily Dickinson poems! "

Emily Dickinson

" I was prom king. Which is actually saying I was the sixth most popular, because the five who were on homecoming were automatically disqualified from prom, so of course I have to look at it that way. "

" I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should have your own talk show.' And I think, no thank you. "

" I'm not that professional. "

" I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them. "

" The basic equation that mystified me as a young man was looking at guys who could actually get girls. I was always amazed, because they never seemed to care. I was like, 'How do they do that?' "

" At a very basic level, I think television exists for game shows, and I think it always will. "

" Because homecoming came first, and there was the homecoming court. The five guys on homecoming court were disqualified from being in the prom court. So being prom king was being sixth most popular. "

" I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot. "