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" The thing about the future is that it never feels the way we thought it would. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Those Catholics, they really nab you when you're young. They sear you. They sear you; they do. "

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" Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. "

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" Nobody likes being told who or what they are. "

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" Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler. "

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" Technology favors horrible people. "

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" If you waste five minutes of time a day, over the course of a year that adds up to one full work day. Think of five wasted minutes as a slow-release holiday drug. Savour it. "

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" Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence. "

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" Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being. "

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" Who wants to talk on the phone? If you want to talk to me, text me. Or if we must, let's meet in person. "

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" I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along. "

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" Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it. "

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" I miss the reference section at the library. I used to go there twice a week on missions. Now everywhere's a research library and I can't get an elitist kick from it any more. "

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" I think half the people who get married now have met online. If I think about all the people in my life who married - they met online, online, online. And it makes sense if you think about it, because you fill out this form of 35 things that really define you and - bam - look, you've got two people who match. It works. "

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" In a faraway land called 'pre-2000,' what Earthlings now call blogging was called 'keeping a diary.' It's hard work to do well. I tried doing it in the early 1990s but had to stop because I no longer had a life - instead I had this thing that generated anecdotes to go into my diary. The diary took over and I had to stop. "

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" The whole point of Gen X was, and continues to be, a negation of being forced into Baby Boomerdom against one's will. "

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" As a form of escapism, yearning for the 20th century is understandable, but in practice it would be horrible - sort of like going on a holiday promising yourself you could go without the Internet, only to crumble and walk in a daze to the local Internet cafe to gorge on connectivity. "

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" Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. "

Douglas Coupland

" Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin. "

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" Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you? "

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" I've always thought that you live in the present, you live in a specific present. You are writing, present tense, so write in the present as it is. "

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" Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo. "

Douglas Coupland

" The 1990s felt like the 1990s in a real and good way. "

Douglas Coupland

" Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again. "

Douglas Coupland

" I decided at 40 I was wasting entire chunks of my brain and didn't want to blow my one chance on Earth. I'm glad I made that decision. Writing is largely about time, while visual art is largely about space. Sometimes, as with film, you can hybridize, but I think it's basically the space part of my brain wanting equal footing with the time part. "

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" To have a healthy culture, you have to have stable health care financing and stable arts financing and stable sports financing, and if you don't have that, your culture becomes a parking lot. "

Douglas Coupland

" I worship teachers. They can't be paid enough. It depresses me that society sees them as somehow expendable. "

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" Twinkies are more natural than most TV-interview shows. "

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" When you write, it's just a much more crystalline, compressed version of the voice you think with - though not the one you speak with. I think your writing voice is your laser-guided missile. It's the poetry part of you. "

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" I love working out how things are made, which is why I have so many models of towers. "

Douglas Coupland