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" Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next. "

Douglas Coupland

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" I've got all my old laptops going back to my first, which was so fancy at the time, in '93 or '94, but now it's just like a doorstop. One day I said, 'I'll go in and get all my old documents in there.' The cords and the wires are all gone, the discettes you need are gone. Meanwhile the little electrons are starting to wither away. "

Douglas Coupland

" Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've always thought that you live in the present, you live in a specific present. You are writing, present tense, so write in the present as it is. "

Douglas Coupland

" In our heads we're all about 33 years old. "

Douglas Coupland

" People will always choose more money over more sex. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've become a day writer: most people start as night writers, and I used to be, but something happened to my endocrine system. I do miss the 3 A.M. writing jags. "

Douglas Coupland

" My Google existence is probably larger than a lot of people's. "

Douglas Coupland

" I want pills called September 10. You take one and your mind feels like the 11th never happened. "

Douglas Coupland

" Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. "

Douglas Coupland

" People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.' "

Douglas Coupland

" A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and every woman in the store hits on him. A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out. "

Douglas Coupland

" If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window. "

Douglas Coupland

" Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them. "

Douglas Coupland

" In 2008 we came perilously close to killing money, exposing in the process how out of date money's infrastructure has become. "

Douglas Coupland

" Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you. "

Douglas Coupland

" Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long. "

Douglas Coupland

" If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you waste five minutes of time a day, over the course of a year that adds up to one full work day. Think of five wasted minutes as a slow-release holiday drug. Savour it. "

Douglas Coupland

" Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure. "

Douglas Coupland

" When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down? "

Douglas Coupland

" My house. It's kind of eccentric. It's two decades worth of accumulated personal projects. Yeah, it is pretty dense in my house. "

Douglas Coupland

" It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either. "

Douglas Coupland

" Those Catholics, they really nab you when you're young. They sear you. They sear you; they do. "

Douglas Coupland

" The future and eternity are two entirely different things. "

Douglas Coupland

" Vancouver is the square root of negative one. Technically it shouldn't exist, but it does. I can't imagine living anywhere else. "

Douglas Coupland

" People say if you're doing an art project, that's different from a book, but I honestly don't see it. I try and try, and I just don't. "

Douglas Coupland

" The universe hands you opportunities for a while, and if you don't take them, the universe says to itself, 'Oh I see, this person doesn't like opportunities' and stops giving them to you. "

Douglas Coupland

" Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat. "

Douglas Coupland