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" The third person allows characters to really attack themselves. We all do this - attack ourselves - every hour of our lives. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" When I first read the story 'Guts' in workshop - my fellow writers that I've been meeting with for almost 20 years - they laughed; they didn't have any kind of shock reaction. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If we all lived according to the teachings of Jesus Christ, life would be much simpler. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I haven't had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn't hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When I visit my brother in South Africa, I order things I've only seen in zoos. Little deers and kudu, all the mammals you would never think of eating. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My private history in terms of people in my life who are dead is very easy to discuss. I don't feel those people can be threatened or intruded upon now. But I am enormously protective of the people who are currently in my life, my existing friends and family. That is where the curtain is drawn. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it's your responsibility to love it, or change it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think a lot of people saw 'Fight Club' and thought, 'Right, here's our next Che Guevara, here's our next Fidel Castro, here's someone who's going to wave the flag.' And I was like, 'No, it's just a book. And if I beat that drum, if I play that song one more time, I won't have a career.' "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The folks who read my books are so passionate about each one of them that the people making my movies are more afraid of my readership than they are of me. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I dread the promotion part of my job. It's agony, especially compared to the private, at-home joy of writing. But being a grown-up means doing every part of the larger task. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I live by fallacy. 'If I get enough nice Ikea furniture, I'll be a grown-up.' Then I catch myself. Or, 'If I get off by myself, away from the stress of modern life, I'll be OK.' Then I catch myself. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it, because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles, wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" With a book, you're guaranteed the audience has a certain skill level and that the audience has to make an ongoing effort to consume this product and that the project is being consumed by just one person at a time. I really want to play to that strength because it's one of the few advantages books still have. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If you take my stuff apart, you'll find my choruses of repetitions are picked up almost verbatim from Kurt Vonnegut, and my distanced fracture quality is all from Amy Hempel, who's probably my favourite writer. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The answer is there is no answer. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Every woman is just a different kind of problem. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We're making the same mistakes we made 1,000 years ago. So they must be the right ones. So relax. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The pretentiousness of literature really annoys me; the way a writer is held as this sort of magical person to be revered on the stage. Everything I do on tour is to try and destroy that pretense. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I have a lot of money. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Any 'artist' makes a living by expressing what others can't - because they're unaware of their feelings, they're too afraid to express those feelings, or they lack the skills to communicate and be understood. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We kind of deny the stages of life. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I used to work as a volunteer in a hospice, but I don't have any nursing skills or cooking skills or anything, so I was what they call an escort. I would take people to the support groups every night, and I would have to sit sort of on the sidelines so I could take them back to hospice at the end of the meeting. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" At school I was lazy. But I started working when I was 15, washing dishes at a local truck stop restaurant. I was really, really bored with school, and I wanted to get a job as fast as I could. School was just so easy. There was just no challenge to it. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Anytime my work can coax bodily fluids out of someone, I'm happy. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think that I am responsible for the death of thousands of things and for the misery of thousands of people, just through the things that I buy and how I live my life, and these are not things that ever deserved to die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Of the big horror movies of the '70s, you have 'The Omen,' 'The Sentinel,' 'Rosemary's Baby,' 'The Stepford Wives,' 'Burnt Offerings' - these are all romantic fatalist movies where there's a sort of glimmer of hope... but darkness wins. "

Chuck Palahniuk