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" I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" My grandfather was hit over the head by a crane boom in Seattle. Some of the family claimed he was never a violent, crazy person before that. Some say he was. It depends who you believe. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Every author has to eventually write a food book. "

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" Think about George Orwell's three-minute hate from the novel '1984' and how that left everyone sort of exhausted and able to live their boring humdrum lives. If our lives are going to continue being unfulfilled and boring, perhaps we do need some sort of short-term violent chaos incorporated into them, to make them more palatable. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People would ask me to autograph their bodies and then the next time I'd see them on tour they'd have my autograph tattooed. I decided I wouldn't write on people anymore, but I'd give them arms and legs and if they wanted those autographed I'd do that. "

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" My publisher's been shipping me to comic-cons, and it seems that my readership overlaps perfectly with the comic-con crowd. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My parents divorced about the same time the movie 'The Parent Trap' came out, about two twins at camp who scheme to get their parents back together. I had that same fantasy. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Personal identity seems like it's just such an American archetype, from Holly Golightly re-inventing herself in 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' to Jay Gatsby in 'The Great Gatsby.' It seems like the sort of archetypal American issue. If you're given the freedom to be anything, or be anyone, what do you do with it? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it seemed the most extreme reaction to the earnestness of hippies. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My father used to call me 'bird bones' and, well, the name fits. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" To be honest, I hate silence. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" What I'm always trying to do with every book is to recreate the effect of the stories we heard as children in front of campfires and fireplaces - the ghost stories that engaged us. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Few things in life seem more sexy than a banned book. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I usually write in my kitchen, which is a large, octagonal room that looks into woods - three big windows look out into the trees. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" When I first started writing, it was me alone with a computer in my apartment. I hated the time away from other people, and my writing sucked. Now I have a laptop; I can do the most tedious part of my job in a public place. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Jack Palance was my distant uncle - that's the family gossip. Growing up, my family knew everything about his face getting burned and scarred in the military and how that mutilation led him to become such a famous 'heavy' in films. I prayed for good scars of my own. Not just acne scars. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I will never write a sequel to anything that I will ever write. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I'm trying to make order out of chaos, trying to find some way of rationalising the horrific things that people do or the way the world is. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" We kind of deny the stages of life. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My characters tend to be more dynamic because they're reaching that point in their lives where their old way of being is breaking down. They're conflicted by the idea that they don't know what's next. You could call it Kierkegaard's leap of faith, when you get tired of sort of reinventing yourself on a very superficial level. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it, because it's only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles, wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I just don't want to die without a few scars. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other. "

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" A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart. "

Chuck Palahniuk