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" The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one. "
" If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song. "
" When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon. "
" When we could split the screen, it was like 'Wow!'. "
" If I don't believe it, I don't care. "
" In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed. "
" Every language has its own music. "
" The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. "
" People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.' "
" After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove. "
" Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. "