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" There's a black man inside of me just trying to make bail. "

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" I've always wanted to play a coach in a movie, just to be the captain of anything in the pirate ship of my bathtub. "

" I believe it's a real tedious hostage negotiation to have a marriage be what it is. "

" I think as any artist you always want to grow; you always want to get better. "

" Actually, I have my own charity that I started that helps supplement families with terminal children. "

" You can give a guy a funny line, but you can't make him say it funny. "

" I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian. "

" It's all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle. "

" People who are bipolar, they kind of latch onto things that are fanatical sometimes. "

" We don't take care of our teachers and our cops and our firemen. They should be at the top of our list. "

" I think I'm better wired for television. I love variety as far as a project. I'm easily bored and the schedule of a television show, it just keeps you going. "

" I love strong women, not only in life but in craft. "

" I feel very, very grateful. I'm a lucky guy, you need a lot of luck, and then when the cameras roll, you have to have this group of writers, directors, and actors that just gel, and it seems to literally be happening more and more. "

" It's fun to play people who are flawed. "

" But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict. "

" I think we love watching people that are flawed because we're all flawed. "

" I'm the type of guy that feels pressure when I have to order dinner. I'm just that type of guy but that's my fuel. I work well with pressure. "

" I think you're born with a comedy gene, and you can't teach timing, and you can't teach satire, pathos. "

" It's like whether you're in a huge movie or you've just recorded an incredible album you've got to do the next thing, and that's part of being an artist. "

" I come from the world of improv; I love any show or any vehicle that gives me an opportunity to be in the moment. "

" You take away all the other luxuries in life, and if you can make someone smile and laugh, you have given the most special gift: happiness. "

" I was very, very large as a kid and never athletic, and my home life was a little upside down and I never felt comfortable. "

" Humor is healing. "

" You have a bad day at the office, four people know. You suck in a movie, everyone knows. "

" My whole life, I've been telling jokes. "