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" They wouldn't take me in the navy because of my glass eye. So I joined the merchant navy, who allowed monocular crew if you worked in the kitchens. You're not wanted on deck or in the engine room with one eye, but you're good to fire up the ovens and cook hundreds of chops. "

Peter Falk

Navy

Eye

Fire

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" Going to Hartford turned out to be the luckiest thing that ever happened to me. "

Peter Falk

Ever

Out

" The female body is awesome. "

" There were no artists in Ossining, which was the home of Sing Sing prison. Most of the parents of the guys I knew were guards there. "

" Actors know one thing: If you're left just with words, you're in trouble. "

" I did do my own stunts. "

" I'm secretly very stuffy. "

Peter Falk

Very

Secretly

" Usually, I get hired because I'm tall. "

" In 1958, I was shooting a movie in Florida, and I decided to go to Havana, Cuba, to see what it was like. "

Peter Falk

Shooting

" Oh, I was some efficiency expert. On my first day, I couldn't find my own office in Hartford and wound up in the Post Office. "

" I used to have this idea that you can spend years in the movies and TV and then, at the drop of a hat, say 'Oh, I'll go back and do the theater.' "

Peter Falk

Movies

Say

" What wouldn't have happened to me if I hadn't ended up in Hartford, Connecticut. "

Peter Falk

Happened

Connecticut

" Before we ever had a script or anything, I was attracted to the idea of playing a character that housed within himself two opposing traits. "

" I just keep working. "

" In order to be totally spontaneous, you can't be too obsessed with accuracy, but if you're inaccurate in a drawing, it will look fake, and when you act, it will sound fake. You have to find miraculously some proper balance between the two, but there's no formula. "

" My idea of Heaven is to wake up, have a good breakfast, and spend the rest of the day drawing. "

Peter Falk

Breakfast

Good

" You thought the stage, you thought Broadway: that was the pot at the end of the rainbow. The idea of being in Hollywood was like going to the Moon or Mars. "

" Sure, I miss some things about the stage. The thing I like is the immediacy. But then I complain, 'I gotta do the same part for six months.' "

Peter Falk

Complain

Same

" I don't like getting up in the morning, getting in a car, driving on a freeway, and stopping at a gate where two guards are standing there, then walk into a studio that looks like a bunch of airplane hangars. "

" I remember being amazed that actors had a union. I thought only coal miners had unions, or guys that worked in automobile plants. That's an indication of how naive I was. "

" I didn't become an actor until I was an old man of 28 or 29. I declared to the world that I was an actor. Nobody heard me, but I did declare it. "

" I like stories that grow, that have unpredictable layers. As opposed to Hollywood movies that start out with a lot of shock and noise and peter out into an unconvincing cliche. "

" It depends how lenient you are with your definition of artist. If you're going to include those who tap dance at the high school recital, then maybe I am. "

" I came to Hollywood and nobody knew me. I was on a coupla TV shows. "

" When I was growing up in Ossining, N.Y., playing pool with the guys, the thought that any one of us might become an actor was as far-fetched as being knighted by the queen of England. "

" The whole thing was an actor's dream - getting a character that tickles you so much you can't wait to act as him. "

" God didn't design anyone to be recognized by 2 billion people. "

" I'm just looking to get through the day. "

" I've worked with some terrific actors. The list of guys that came on the 'Columbo' show, I mean they were world-class actors from all over the world - Oskar Werner, Laurence Harvey, Donald Pleasence, you know... foreigners. "

" In the theater, you didn't have any marks. Your instincts in rehearsal told you what the blocking was. On film, they reversed it. They decided ahead of time what your instincts were, before you even arrived. "

" You talk about what a director, he was smart. He said, Turn the camera on! "