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" Twitter is so severe, you know? And it's completely for free, it's scattershot, and it's very easy to feel embarrassed. It's hard to be artful with it. It's like a ticker tape. It's not a forum that's worth mastering, you know? "

Jonathan Ames

Worth

You

Easy

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" I promote my own self-hatred. "

" I've really never written about my relationships, or things like that. I wouldn't want to divulge things that were too private. "

Jonathan Ames

Relationships

Things

" As a child, I wanted to be an athlete, a professional tennis player or something like that. "

" Now, all writing - all the arts - are a form of 'Pay attention to me,' but there's also the flip side. Like, I want to give something. Let me entertain you, let me amuse you, let me try to please you with this thing I've made. And then pay attention to me. "

" For me, the past is dead. Can't go back. "

Jonathan Ames

Dead

Back

" I'm actually much more shy and self-conscious than people's perception of me. "

Jonathan Ames

Perception

" I don't mind being ridiculed - well, I guess I would mind a little, but it would only last a few minutes - it's all very ephemeral; it doesn't really matter what people think of me. "

Jonathan Ames

Think

Matter

" I need to stay in the present and use that new-age mantra: 'I'm okay right now.' But I worry about all the things I'm failing at every moment. "

" I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way. "

" I might have some sort of personality disorder. I might not have proper filters; it might be some kind of version of Asperger's meets Tourettes meets prose. "

" To write about a place, you have to live there. "

" There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly. "

" I've always been inspired by Don Quixote as a role model of sorts, of the power of books to sort of make you insane in maybe a beautiful way. "

" I don't really recognise success. I don't see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off. "

" A lot of writers, probably because they're sensitive, which makes them want to be writers, have fears about their masculinity, so they overcompensate by having an interest in boxing and tough-guy things. "

" A lot of writing is a form of seeing - putting down what you see in terms of action and landscape. "

" I don't like rides. I take everything in life quite literally, and so I genuinely feel terrified on rides and liable to vomit at any moment, and I hate to vomit even more than I fear rides. "

" Mostly I have to try to censor myself so as not to write things that will hurt other people, or that will go too far. "

" It's hard for me to think of writing a novel, because it takes so long. "

" For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Perhaps if I was depressed and isolated, just communicating with these authors through their sentences helped me. "

Jonathan Ames

Alone

Always

" The reason it's hard for me to tweet is I don't want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing. "

Jonathan Ames

Anything

Hard

" There's no shortage of material in life. "

" It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to look to New York. "

" I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college. "

" I have very few hobbies. In fact, I have no hobbies. "

" I don't like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew. "

Jonathan Ames

Acknowledge

Jew

" I wish I was the kind of writer who would go to a war zone and write about something that's meaningful and important to people, but that's not my area of coverage. "

" I don't have ADD, but I only like to pay attention to the things I like to pay attention to, and things like getting a TV and getting the cable working are beyond me, and so I let such things lapse, sometimes for years. This applies to keeping my apartment clean. "

" I'm a somewhat isolated person in my own way, or I move along a little trail, I go this place, I go that place. It's not like I'm varying my exposure. "

" I am always the source of the worst rumors about myself. "