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" We decided we don't use the term 'fat' for me. We use the term 'juicy' for me. My wife's fine with it, but the rule is when I'm over double her weight, it's over. "
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" I've been pretty lucky with neighbors. But back in 1998, I lived, like, literally next door to Wrigley Field in Chicago. And I had, like, 50,000 bad neighbors spread out over the course of one summer. I'm a diehard Cubs fan, but living right next to the ballpark, it's just - as you're trying to go to sleep, you can just, like, hear urination. " Ike Barinholtz