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" When I go to Indian reservations in the West, and especially to the Pine Ridge Reservation, I sometimes feel unsure where to put my foot when I open the car door. The very ground is different from where I usually stand. There are fewer curbs, fewer sidewalks, and almost no street signs, mailboxes, or leashed dogs. "

Ian Frazier

Open

Door

Feel

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" I only saw one English-speaking person all the way across Siberia. "

" I would hate to see the idea of freedom disappear, and I wonder if maybe it will. "

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" When the days start to get shorter, I want to be in some nice brick building on the East Coast with the lights glowing in the windows. When the daylight starts changing, I want to be out West. "

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" I think what is important for things to be funny is if you the listener, or the reader, get a chance to supply the humor of it yourself. "

" I don't want to collect Indian art, though pots and beadwork and blankets made by Indians remain the most beautiful art objects in the American West, in my opinion. "

" America can enjoy a vital, fully functioning government, with all the benefits provided by Texas, while reducing Texas at the same time. "

" I am an author, and like many in my profession, I am also a traveling salesman, going all over in an attempt to persuade people to spend twenty-five dollars on a hardcover book by me. "

" I was friends with Russians who said I should see Russia. I went there in '93 and it was so exciting, and I went to Siberia and had a great time. "

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" I don't want to participate in traditional Indian religious ceremonies - dance in a sun dance or pray in a sweat lodge or go on a vision quest with the help of a medicine man. The power of these ceremonies has an appeal, but I'm content with what little religion I already have. "

" Russians don't complain, usually. "

Ian Frazier

Russians

Complain

" I'd read books in Russian, and they would take me forever. I wanted to write a book that would last and would not be superficial. Siberian-travel writing is its own genre. "

Ian Frazier

Forever

Book

" Leading economists have shown that by shrinking Texas, we can actually create more income for Texas in the long run. "

Ian Frazier

Run

Texas

" Russian humor is to adapt or make some sense or nonsense out of the insanity of their lives. "

" With reporting, if you work hard, you can usually pull something out. But writing humor doesn't respond to working hard, necessarily. I mean, you could just sit there and look at the page all day and maybe something will come. "

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" I believe that when Crazy Horse was killed, something more than a man's life was snuffed out. "

Ian Frazier

Believe

Man

" Words are charms. It's like a song you didn't even know you knew. "

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Even

" To me, a bag in a tree is like a flag of chaos, and when I remove it, I'm capturing the flag of the other side. In the end, it doesn't matter how ironic or serious or even effective on a larger scale bag snagging may be. "

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Tree

Chaos

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" America to me is so varied and exciting. I always feel nostalgia for the place I'm not in, and then I get there and find myself in a traffic jam going into the Lincoln Tunnel, and I think, 'God, why was I romanticizing this part of the country?' I think it has to do with the romantic, unrealistic temperament. "

" I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces. "

" Despite the obvious benefits, many Americans do not like Texas. Some even say they despise Texas, and make no secret of their feelings. "

Ian Frazier

Texas

Feelings

" Human connection is the way things work. It's like a patronage system. You know somebody, and he knows somebody, and he knows somebody, and he knows the district governor, and it's okay. "