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" Writing about the future and the past is less a way of dramatizing change than of showing, by way of contrast, what abides. "
Walter Kirn
Less
Past
Future
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" I'd assumed that a deal was a deal when Princeton admitted me, but I was wrong. The price of getting in - to the university itself, and to the great world it promised to open up - was an endless dunning for nebulous services that weren't included in the initial quote. "
Walter Kirn
Open
Price
World
" One of the saddest things about publishing is how quickly it ages what it touches. The frenzy involved in getting books on shelves, and in putting the word out that they're there, moves at a speed that is not the speed of writing, let alone of reading. "
Walter Kirn
Involved
Speed
Writing
" I've been around - having gone to Princeton, and I went to Oxford after that - some pretty fancy characters in my life. And they're just as nutty as the rest of us - sometimes worse. "
Walter Kirn
Sometimes
Rest
My Life
" The least sexy city is Los Angeles. And it poses as the most sexy. As you grow up, L.A. is being sold to you as home of the bikini-clad party girls. And then you get there, and it's full of very goal-oriented, yoga-obsessed careerists. "
Walter Kirn
City
Home
Party
" The fictionally correct have all the answers, and that's what's wrong with them. They're artistic technocrats. There's no dilemma so knotty, no question so baffling, that it can't be smoothly neutralized by dialing up the right attitude adjustment. Poor old Hemingway. If only he'd known. "
Walter Kirn
Question
Attitude
Poor
" There are two sides to me. One is the writer. That's a savage person who looks at everything as a story and, you know, wants to use real life in his books. The other part is the Midwesterner, who, you know, wants to say nice things about people and be polite. "
Walter Kirn
Know
Story
Nice
" The strange anthropological lesson of social media is that human beings, if given a choice, often prefer to socialize alone. "
Walter Kirn
Social Media
Alone
Choice
" Short stories are fiction's R & D department, and failed or less-than-conclusive experiments are not just to be expected but to be hoped for. "
Walter Kirn
Fiction
Stories
Just
" Ask Jeeves! Who ever used that thing? College freshmen to find out who Goethe was - that's it. "
Walter Kirn
College
Ask
Who
" The reason con artists get away with what they get away with is, their victims are ashamed of their own blindness and their own gullibility, and they tend to just quietly go away. "
Walter Kirn
Blindness
Go
Reason
" In a world that's smarter than it used to be and, in some ways, smarter than it ought to be, stupidity has a way of making us seem all the more human. "
Walter Kirn
Used
Stupidity
World
" I remember the first time I went to Italy when I was eighteen, I was in Florence and there were all these eighteen, nineteen, twenty-year-olds gliding past on Vespas with crinkly, long, hair, and I thought I was on the set of a movie. I couldn't believe that this was going on and I hadn't known about it before. I was flabbergasted. "
Walter Kirn
Thought
Time
Past
" The reason that last-ditch political maneuvering has become business as usual in Washington is that the actors involved are drunk on blame and are convinced that the voting public is, too. They count on outrage, thereby spreading numbness. They cherish the prospect of partisan fury, thereby inspiring nonpartisan disgust. "
Walter Kirn
Political
Blame
Business
" Guns can turn you into an insider even if you're an outsider by nature, recruiting you into a loose fraternity of people who feel embattled and defensive and are primally eager to win allies. "
Walter Kirn
People
Win
You
" In America, to be ID'd - sorted, tagged, and permanently filed - is to lose a bit of one's soul. To die a little. This sounds like a subtle, poetic notion. It's not. In American legal and cultural tradition, one essential privilege of citizenship is not having to prove it on demand. "
Walter Kirn
Die
Soul
Legal
" Remember daydreams? No, of course you don't. How could you? Three new text messages have just arrived, and another three, in a moment, will go out. "
Walter Kirn
New
You
Will
" At college, I wanted to be a poet. I liked the extremely concentrated language, the atmosphere of otherworldliness. "
Walter Kirn
Atmosphere
Poet
Language
" Horror and panic themselves are forms of violence, and diminishing them, restricting their dimensions, is itself a civilizing act. "
Walter Kirn
Panic
Violence
Act
" I love reference books, especially collections of memorable quotations, world almanacs, and atlases. Facts to me are like candy or popcorn, small, tasty delights, and I like to gorge on them now and then. "
Walter Kirn
Small
Candy
Facts
" Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom. "
Walter Kirn
Time
Now
Month
" The success that Americans are said to worship is success of a specific sort: accomplished not through hard work, primarily, but through the ingenious angle, the big break. Sit down at a lunch counter, stand back up a star. Invest in a new issue and watch it soar. Split a single atom, win a war. "
Walter Kirn
Down
Hard Work
Success
" Size has nothing to do with literature. All legs are long enough to touch the ground, and all books are big enough to fill their covers. "
Walter Kirn
Long
Literature
Touch
" Once you realize just the sort of glut of books that exists out there, it does become incumbent on you not to add to it unless you have a damn good reason. "
Walter Kirn
Become
Damn
Good
" It's been a concern of mine for years that the mainstream media coverage of culture and politics takes place in two nodes, Washington and New York, and yet all the voting goes on somewhere else. "
Walter Kirn
New York
New
Culture
" Stopping to think is fine for characters, but not for their creators. They have to work. "
Walter Kirn
Stopping
Fine
Characters
" You have plausible deniability, as they say in politics, as an author with movies. Because if the movie is terrible, you simply say they failed to catch the genius of the book. "
Walter Kirn
Book
Politics
Movies
" If the future, as imagined in literature, is really the present taken to extremes, then the past is also the present, but boiled down. "
Walter Kirn
Down
Past
Present
" The room-service Caesar salads with soggy croutons, the distant relatives who show up at readings pitching weird, far-fetched investment schemes, the fans who have you sign a book to 'Cathy' and then tell you, 'No, it's Kathy with a K' - it gets challenging after a while. It tests your stamina. "
Walter Kirn
Weird
You
Investment
" When I was writing about the Republican primaries, it was as though the Bible was a black box that people reached into to pull out edicts and prejudices and rules and opinions, and I wish they had fact-checked it! Especially Rick Santorum. "
Walter Kirn
Bible
Black
People
" A true nature is a gloomy monolith, sort of like that old black rotary phone that I had to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Grandpa on. But novelists, damn us, still need true natures - so we can give them to our protagonists. And so readers can vaguely predict how they'll behave when we trap them in 'situations' that they can't IM their way out of. "
Walter Kirn
Nature
Birthday
Black