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" You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, 'cause you wind up with no room at all. You just get a little corner, and you've got a toothbrush and your paste and a shaving brush and a razor. "

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" But the whole point of the Sixties was that you had to take people as they were. If you came in with us you left your class, and colour, and religion behind, that was what the Sixties was all about. "

Michael Caine

You

Class

" You get paid the same for a bad film as you do for a good one. "

" If you're a movie actor, you're on your own - you cannot control the stage. The director controls it. "

" I wouldn't make an anti-American film. I'm one of the most pro-American foreigners I know. I love America and Americans. "

" I think what is British about me is my feelings and awareness of others and their situations. English people are always known to be well mannered and cold but we are not cold - we don't interfere in your situation. If we are heartbroken, we don't scream in your face with tears - we go home and cry on our own. "

Michael Caine

Face

Tears

" The first thing I'll do if I want to look really crappy is, I don't wear any makeup at all. "

" Things are not quite what they seem always. Don't start me on class, otherwise you'll get a four-hour lecture. "

" I don't do it often, but I do cry. I also laugh a lot; people tell me I'm funny and I do like to laugh. "

Michael Caine

Tell

Cry

" I had been nine years in the theatre and hadn't had massive success. My only thing was I wanted to be an actor and I didn't care when, where, or how much for. "

" If you go away on location for three months and your wife stays at home, you've made a whole new load of friends and she's made a whole new load of friends and you get home and you're kind of strangers. "

" I come from the slums; I come from a hard background; I come from a poor family; and I was a soldier. "

" Wherever I live, if there isn't a restaurant I want to go to of a certain type, then I open it. That's all. For selfish reasons. "

" I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is a remake of a flop. "

" The greatest luxury is not driving. I didn't own a car until I was 30, and that was a Rolls-Royce, so it was cheaper to insure a chauffeur. I never want to drive again. My mind is always on other things. I hate parking, and I'm very short-tempered and would get road rage, I'm sure. "

" I learned about life before I went into the theater, which is why I've been so happy. I was a soldier. "

" I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you'll go insane. "

" I've made the transition from star to character actor and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. "

" To be a movie star, you have to carry a movie. And to carry a movie where you play the title role is the supreme example. "

" My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you. "

" I read books like mad, but I am careful to to let anything I read influence me. "

Michael Caine

Mad

Influence

" Let me put it this way: If you're sitting in a movie and you're watching me, and you say, 'Isn't that Michael Caine a wonderful actor?' then I've failed. "

" Obsession is a young man's game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old. "

" I regard myself as someone who is retired but who occasionally goes out to work. In fact, I'm offered so much good stuff that it's not so occasional. "

" Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell. "

" I think I have the secret of a successful L.A. restaurant, especially now that so many Europeans live there. You have to have a place where they can see out the windows, see the world passing by. Europeans fancy that. "

" I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes. "

Michael Caine

Laugh

Hand

" The first actor I ever saw was The Lone Ranger. I thought, That's what I want to do. "

" I am often asked which of my films has come closest to my own ideal of performance, and I always answer, 'Educating Rita.' "

" Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. "

" My view of actors is that basically they're all harmless lunatics who'd be on the psychiatrist's couch, except that we get this sort of catharsis every six months or so, and we go and be absolutely someone else. "

Michael Caine

Someone

Psychiatrist