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" You cannot reason with people who don't recognize the humanity in all of us. "
Roxane Gay
You
Reason
Who
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" I have a job I'm pretty good at. I am in charge of things. I am on committees. People respect me and take my counsel. I want to be strong and professional, but I resent how hard I have to work to be taken seriously, to receive a fraction of the consideration I might otherwise receive. "
Roxane Gay
Job
Me
Work
" Internet outrage can seem mindless, but it rarely is. To make that assumption is dismissive. There's something beneath the outrage - an unwillingness to be silent in the face of ignorance, hatred or injustice. Outrage may not always be productive, but it is far better than silence. "
Roxane Gay
Far
Face
Injustice
" The expansive anarchy of the Internet continues to lull us into believing that, because we can see something, that something should be seen. Because we can say something, there is something that must be said. "
Roxane Gay
Anarchy
See
Said
" Day after day with them, I see more and more of my parents in me. I see where all my quirks come from. I see my future. "
Roxane Gay
Future
Day
Me
" Everyone else thinks I'm a nonfiction writer. I think it's because my nonfiction is easier to find. But I write both in equal measure. I love writing fiction because I can totally lose myself, and I get to make up the rules of the world that I'm writing. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Love
Think
" There has been, and there will continue to be, vigorous discussions about race in America. I worry that little will come of these discussions because we aren't addressing what must be done to change the current racial climate. "
Roxane Gay
America
Done
Race
" After the Boston Marathon bombings, people shared grief and outrage on social media. "
Roxane Gay
People
Social Media
Grief
" Feminism is just an idea. It's a philosophy. It's about the equality of women in all realms. It's not about man-hating. It's not about being humorless. We have to let go of these misconceptions that have plagued feminism for 40, 50 years. "
Roxane Gay
Feminism
Philosophy
Women
" I read too many romance novels during my formative years. I have a penchant for romantic comedies. I understand why 'Romeo and Juliet' came to such a pass. "
Roxane Gay
Romantic
Romance
Pass
" I think one of the most important things we can do as feminists is acknowledge that, even though we have womanhood in common, we have to start to think about the ways in which we're different, how those differences affect us, and what kinds of needs we have based on our differences. "
Roxane Gay
Differences
Us
Think
" When advertisers ignore diversity, it is because they don't think the lives of others matter. There is not enough of a financial imperative for those lives to matter. "
Roxane Gay
Diversity
Financial
Ignore
" I have known beaches, but I have no particular fondness for them. I don't like sand in my crevices. I don't like sand at all. I don't enjoy all that sunshine and heat without the benefit of climate control. "
Roxane Gay
Control
Heat
Sand
" The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal. "
Roxane Gay
Government
Practice
Live
" A lot of ink is given over to mythologizing female friendships as curious, fragile relationships that are always intensely fraught. Stop reading writing that encourages this mythology. "
Roxane Gay
Relationships
Reading
Curious
" As I started to think about how I can claim feminism while also acknowledging my humanity and my imperfections, 'bad feminism' simply seemed like the best answer. "
Roxane Gay
Bad
Best
Humanity
" It's an amusing idea to some, this feminism thing - this audacious notion that women should be able to move through the world as freely, and enjoy the same inalienable rights and bodily autonomy, as men. At least, that's the impression given when feminism and feminists are all too often the targets of lazy humor. "
Roxane Gay
Lazy
Enjoy
Women
" The open letter has always been an interesting rhetorical strategy - a way of delivering a pointed message to a specific individual or group while also reaching a wide audience. "
Roxane Gay
Audience
Interesting
Strategy
" You can't control the fact that you are born a white man or born into wealth. When people say, 'Check your privilege,' they're saying, 'Acknowledge how these factors helped you move through life.' They're not saying apologize for it. "
Roxane Gay
Life
Control
Man
" It would be easy to assume that the open letter is a symptom of the Internet age. Such is not the case. In 1774, Benjamin Franklin wrote an open letter to the prime minister of Great Britain, Lord North - a satirical call for the imposition of martial law in the colonies. "
Roxane Gay
Easy
Great
Internet
" Something outrageous, in the truest sense of the word, is always happening. On social networks, we're always voicing our reactions to these outrageous events. We read essays and 'think pieces' about these outrageous events. We comment on the commentary. We do this because we can. "
Roxane Gay
Sense
Comment
Always
" In Haiti, beach bodies are simply bodies, and beach reads are simply books, because the beach is all around you. "
Roxane Gay
Reads
Haiti
Books
" I think that everyone in one way or another has some sort of body issue. There's something about themselves physically that they're not happy with, that they're ashamed of, that they keep constantly trying to change. "
Roxane Gay
Think
Trying
Change
" Maybe true love isn't out there for me, but I can sublimate my loneliness with the notion that true love is out there for someone. "
Roxane Gay
Loneliness
Love
Love Is
" I support anything that broadens the message of gender equality and tempers the stigma of the feminist label. We run into trouble, though, when we celebrate celebrity feminism while avoiding the actual work of feminism. "
Roxane Gay
Celebrate
Work
Support
" I have never dreamed of being a princess. I have not longed for Prince Charming. I have and do long for something resembling a happily ever after. I am supposed to be above such flights of fantasy, but I am not. I am enamored of fairy tales. "
Roxane Gay
Fantasy
I Am
Princess
" Love your friends' kids, even if you don't want or like children. Just do it. "
Roxane Gay
Children
Want
You
" I think Lena Dunham is a very bright and very interesting writer, and what she's accomplished at such a young age absolutely impresses me. "
Roxane Gay
She
Age
Interesting
" I keep trying to imagine a universe in which too many public figures declaring themselves feminists would be a bad thing. "
Roxane Gay
Trying
Keep
Bad
" I was in love with the idea of love, so I created elaborate fictions for my relationships - fictions that allowed me to believe that what any given paramour and I shared looked a lot like love. "
Roxane Gay
Like
Love
Relationships
" Throughout any given season of 'The Bachelor,' the women exclaim that the experience is like a fairy tale. They suffer the machinations of reality television, pursuing - along with several other women, often inebriated - the promise of happily ever after. "
Roxane Gay
Television
Reality
Women