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" You can't just count on becoming a syndicated cartoonist. I actually tried to calculate the odds once, and the best I could come up with is a 1-in-36,000 chance. And the odds of getting hit by lightning are 1 in 7,900 - which kind of shows how long those odds are. "

Stephan Pastis

Lightning

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" Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting. "

Stephan Pastis

Better

Humor

" I write for three or four hours and then hopefully I'll have something. Then I draw for the rest of the afternoon... I literally block out Wednesday-Thursday-Friday - I more or less disappear. "

" This is every creative person's dream - a hobby that I'm lucky enough to get paid for. "

" I think it might surprise the average person how angry people can get over the comics. "

" If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything. "

" I like characters like Ignatius Reilly in 'A Confederacy of Dunces' and Ricky Gervais's character in 'The Office.' They think one thing about themselves, but the truth is as far from that as it can be. So I began to think about how to put that kind of character in a book for kids. "

" Basically, I learned to read by reading 'Peanuts,' just wanting to know what they were saying. "

" If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that. "

" To get syndicated as a comic strip artist is as likely as winning the lottery. "

" We need more cartoonists to truly retire when they retire, and not run repeats. "

Stephan Pastis

Retire

Cartoonists

" For me, going to Minneapolis is like going to Mecca. "

Stephan Pastis

Going

Minneapolis

" Thomas, my 15-year-old, is effectively my editor, I've always trusted his voice, more than anybody, on the strip for years. He has one of those ears that's just tuned to the rhythm of humor, so if he says something's not funny, my stomach just hurts because I know he's right, and it's already been drawn. "

" Repeats are the absolute soul-crushing killers of the comics page. "

" I don't like drawing characters facing right. "

Stephan Pastis

Facing

Drawing

" The wonderful thing about a book is that you have a canvas that is 300 pages wide, and it's all free space. You can make a piece of art as big as you want and whatever shape you want. "

" It seems so absurd to get really mad with a cartoonist over a comic strip. It's sort of like getting in a fight with a circus clown outside your house. It's not going to end well. "

" I want a career writing these novels that I can be proud of. And then I want one as a screenwriter. "

" Sticking to my schedule, I've gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a 'Pearls Before Swine' movie script for the big screen. "

Stephan Pastis

Pearls

Schedule

" I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first. "

" Maybe the bar is low, but most of the strips that are 50, 60, 70 years old that are on their second or third generation of artists, the humor is pretty bland. There are others by people that were raised on 'Family Guy' or 'South Park' that are edgier. Mine's not as edgy as those, but it's edgier than 'Beetle Bailey.' "

" You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space. "

" I do what makes me laugh. "

Stephan Pastis

Laugh

Makes

" The principles of comedy are the principles of comedy. I can hear funny. "

" The only thing I learn on a daily basis from law school is that I disliked it and the law so much that it's constantly this fire at my heels. "