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" You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. "

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" No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12. "

" The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life. "

" When I was doing Bean more than I've done him in the last few years, I did strange things - like appearing on chat shows in character as Mr. Bean. "

" But generally speaking, I tend to be quiet and introspective. "

" Marketing is what gets you noticed, and that side of it something - this side of it, if you like, doing interviews - is the side of it that I least enjoy, and yet is 50% of the project. "

" It's not easy to take a sit-com and turn it into a feature. "

" I'm not a collector. I don't like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate. "

" Nope, I don't enjoy work generally. Not because I'm lazy; it's just all so stressful and worrying. "

" I have always regarded Mr. Bean as a timeless, ageless character, and I would rather he be remembered as a character mostly in his 30s and 40s. "

" I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one. "

" We still have a tradition certainly in English television; it's faded a bit in the last five years, but we still have a tradition where the important thing is the quality and the challenging nature of the programming. "

" People think because I can make them laugh on the stage, I'll be able to make them laugh in person. That isn't the case at all. I am essentially a rather quiet, dull person who just happens to be a performer. "

" I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination. "

" But I always feel that whatever I do, I could do better. I suppose it is perfectionism. "

" It's a bit disconcerting being treated like Madonna. "

" I don't much enjoy Back and Forth. I mean, I think it has its own particular qualities, but I think it's inferior to any of the half-hour ones we did. "

" Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach. "

" I like to juggle with one ball at a time. Then I put the ball down and do nothing for extended periods of time. "

" Mr. Bean is at his best when he is not using words, but I am equally at home in both verbal and nonverbal expression. "

" There is always that age-old thing about England and America being divided by a common language. You think that because we speak English and you speak English that you're bound to understand and like everything that we do. And of course you don't. "

" I think the character does tend to suit an episodic thing, because what's fun about him is that he doesn't care about anyone else, and it's very difficult for a main character - a lead character - in a movie to not care about anybody else. "

" The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult. "

" But, actually, so many of the clerics that I've met, particularly the Church of England clerics, are people of such extraordinary smugness and arrogance and conceitedness who are extraordinarily presumptuous about the significance of their position in society. "

" I enjoy racing historic motorcars from the '50s and '60s. The seed of my interest was planted when I was about 12 years old and took over my mother's Morris Minor. I drove it around my father's farm. But my favorite car is still a McLaren F1, which I have had for 10 years. "

" It's the difficulty we had with Mr. Bean, actually, when it went from TV to film. You certainly discover that you need to explain more about a character. "

" To criticize a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous, but to criticize their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom. "

" I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Bean's life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to. "

" I have always worried about things more than I should. "

" I would return to the Blackadder character if the opportunity came up. I have no qualms about that at all. "

" And what's interesting about him as a comic character is that the custard pie hardly ever ends up on his face. "