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" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "
Wilson Mizner
Party
Winds
Him
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" To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "
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" You sparkle with larceny. "
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" A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "
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" If you count all your assets you always show a profit. "
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" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "
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Hardest
" I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. "
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Laughs
" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "
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Born
Embarrassment
Lady
" The first hundred years are the hardest. "
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" I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. "
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Hollywood
Think
Heroes
" I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' "
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Read
Begins
Lying
" Art is science made clear. "
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Science
Art
Clear
" I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. "
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Lawyers
Ever
Fortune
" Failure has gone to his head. "
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Gone
Head
Failure
" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "
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Restless
Skeleton
Something
" I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. "
Wilson Mizner
You
Respect
Education
" Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. "
Wilson Mizner
People
Most
Half-Baked
" The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. "
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Water
Most
Power
" A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. "
Wilson Mizner
Good
Something
Only
" I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. "
Wilson Mizner
Own
Rather
Guy
" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "
Wilson Mizner
Who
People
Ambition
" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
Wilson Mizner
Gambling
Way
Something
" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "
Wilson Mizner
Talk
Done
Yourself
" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "
Wilson Mizner
Who
Halfway
Clock
" I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. "
Wilson Mizner
Hate
Your
You
" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "
Wilson Mizner
Existence
Clever
Battle
" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "
Wilson Mizner
Because
Inevitable
Degree
" If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. "
Wilson Mizner
Many
You
Steal
" A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. "
Wilson Mizner
Critic
Him
Person
" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "
Wilson Mizner
Art
Found
Life
" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "
Wilson Mizner
Down
Nice
Brainy