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" The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. "
Wilson Mizner
Water
Most
Power
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" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "
Wilson Mizner
Down
Nice
Brainy
" Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. "
Wilson Mizner
Sewer
Service
Hollywood
" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "
Wilson Mizner
Because
Inevitable
Degree
" The first hundred years are the hardest. "
Wilson Mizner
Years
Hundred
Hardest
" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "
Wilson Mizner
Years
First
Hardest
" Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. "
Wilson Mizner
Welcome
Tried
Only
" Art is science made clear. "
Wilson Mizner
Science
Art
Clear
" I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. "
Wilson Mizner
Lawyers
Ever
Fortune
" I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' "
Wilson Mizner
Read
Begins
Lying
" A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "
Wilson Mizner
He
Always
Fellow
" A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. "
Wilson Mizner
Critic
Him
Person
" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "
Wilson Mizner
Who
Halfway
Clock
" The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. "
Wilson Mizner
Keep
Friends
Best
" You sparkle with larceny. "
Wilson Mizner
Larceny
You
Sparkle
" To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "
Wilson Mizner
More
Good Advice
Advice
" I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. "
Wilson Mizner
Judge
He
Laughs
" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "
Wilson Mizner
Art
Found
Life
" Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. "
Wilson Mizner
Desire
Small
Looking
" Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. "
Wilson Mizner
People
Most
Half-Baked
" Failure has gone to his head. "
Wilson Mizner
Gone
Head
Failure
" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "
Wilson Mizner
Who
People
Ambition
" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "
Wilson Mizner
Party
Winds
Him
" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "
Wilson Mizner
Born
Embarrassment
Lady
" I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. "
Wilson Mizner
Hollywood
Think
Heroes
" If you count all your assets you always show a profit. "
Wilson Mizner
Show
Profit
Your
" A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. "
Wilson Mizner
Good
Something
Only
" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "
Wilson Mizner
Talk
Done
Yourself
" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "
Wilson Mizner
Existence
Clever
Battle
" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "
Wilson Mizner
Restless
Skeleton
Something
" If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. "
Wilson Mizner
Many
You
Steal