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All Quotes by author - Doug Larson
" Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. "
" A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. "
" A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. "
" A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! "
" A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. "
" Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. "
" Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. "
" For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. "
" Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. "
" If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. "
" If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. "
" If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. "
" Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. "
" Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. "
" More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. "
" Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days. "
Good Old Days
" Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. "
" Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. "
" Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. "
" Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. "
" The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. "
" The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. "
" The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. "
" There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. "
" The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice. "
" There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware. "
" The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. "
" The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. "
" The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. "
" To err is human; to admit it, superhuman. "
To Err Is Human
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