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All Quotes by author - John Barrymore
" A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. "
Dreams
Regrets
Take
" America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. "
Dollar
You
Country
" Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him. "
Happen
Die
Allow
" Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. "
Left
Know
You
" I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom. "
Wife
He
I Am
" If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner. "
More
Got
Finance
" In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief. "
Good
Great
Sometimes
" I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free. "
Who
Modern
Wonder
" I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. "
Three
Food
Me
" Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. "
Beautiful
Love Is
Meeting
" My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. "
Girl
Mother
Wife
" My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. "
Too
Beautiful
Words
" Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. "
Takes
Trouble
Time
" The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good. "
You
Good
Die
" The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time. "
Trouble
Life
Women
" When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves. "
Venus
Boxing
Find
" Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? "
Why
Much
Month
" You can only be as good as you dare to be bad. "
Only
Bad
Dare
" You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float. "
Float
Tried
Yourself
" You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. "
Month
Never
Pay
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