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All Quotes by author - Maysoon Zayid

" As a comedian, Trump is comedy gold, and he almost makes my job too easy... the stuff that comes out of his mouth is a precious commodity. "

" As far as characters that are written as Muslims, we're only seeing one dimension. It's either the good Muslim who is helping the FBI, or the taxi driver-terrorist bundled in one. "

" Comedy is free therapy. And if it's done well, the audience and the comic take turns being the doctor as well as the patient. "

" Disability in the Middle East is viewed through a different lens because you're in wartime countries where it's much more mainstream, so I was just never 'other'd. "

" Disability is as visual as race. If a wheelchair user can't play Beyonce, then Beyonce can't play a wheelchair user. "

" Forget Paula Dean; when it comes to on-air celebrity chefs, no one makes my stomach go pitter-patter more than Chef Anthony Bourdain. He is absolutely fearless. "

" From fear to bonding with the audience to getting more open - that's what standup is. It humanises you. "

" I am a hardcore foodie, which means I love to eat. I was also born with cerebral palsy, which means I shake all the time - so cooking is not my thing, as I am banned from being around knives and fire. Those who cannot cook, watch, and I am obsessed with cooking shows. "

" I am not naive, and I do realize that racism is alive and well in the United States of America. I am also fully aware that when segregation ended, we didn't all live happily ever after. No one can convince me, however, that life in America would be better if blacks and whites had stayed separate and unequal. "

" I believe very deeply in my soul that God paired me and my father purposely and that he knew that my father would give me the strength to be a person with disability that was proud, always held her head high, and was never, ever bitter. "

" If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal. I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey. "

" If you elect a religious party into power, you no longer have a democracy. "

" If you're disabled, and you're trying to achieve your dreams, accept the fact right now that you have to work 500 times more than the average bear next to you. Stop bucking for sympathy, put on your titanium legs, and run. "

" I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. "

" I'll go on '60 Minutes,' and whereas other parents would be like, 'You did a great job. I'm so proud of you,' my mother will be like, 'Your hair - it was not nice.' "

" I'm a person who watches TV all the time - all the time; I love TV. And I really think that the media heavily influences how we as a society behave towards each other. And one of the things that I find to be lacking on television are positive images of diversity. "

" I'm not here to impose Sharia law, and I'm not here to have a message about disability being inspirational - I'm here to make people laugh. But when I can layer things and make people not only laugh but question, make people not only laugh but be offended... I have to do that. "

" I'm not trying to represent all Muslim women. I'm trying to give voice to the silent majority. Unfortunately, I'm a bit loony. "

" I'm very much inspired by things that anger me. If I see bigotry, stupidity, or injustice on the news, I'm inspired to find a way to make it into something comedic and relatable. Anger inspires me. Stupidity inspires me. My family inspires me. My accountant inspires me. Everything and anything, really. "

" In 2006, I hung out with The Carter Center as they monitored the Palestinian elections. Nobody thought Hamas would win. Hamas did not think Hamas could win. The lion's share of folks I spoke to who were voting for them were not actually voting for Hamas but against Fatah. "

" In the interest of full disclosure, let me state that I hate Hamas. They embody everything that I, as a human being, am fighting against: oppression, religious rule, and patriarchy. They empower Israel while dividing the Palestinians. "

" I shake all the time. It's exhausting and causes chronic pain in my joints and muscles. It is also the only life I have ever known. I use yoga, dance, nutrition, and breathing to help manage my symptoms. "

" I spent my summers in a war zone because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna. "

" It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up. "

" I think religion is very personal. I definitely identify as Muslim. I consider myself practicing, but I don't think people who observe me from the outside would think of me as devout, and that doesn't bother me because one of the beauties of Islam is the fact that it is personal: you read the Koran, and what you believe is what you believe. "

" I think that social media has really empowered bullies because you get to do it from the comfort of your own home, completely anonymously, with no ramifications. "

" I think there's a backlash against minorities in this country and that part of what caused that was the fact that a black man became president. And a certain portion of the privileged population think their privilege is at stake, and they want it back. "

" I think we need a Muslim 'Bachelor' or 'Bachelorette.' I think that's what would be the great equalizer, and that would change everything. "

" It is easy to go vegan in Palestine, which is where I quit eating food with a face. The vegetables and spices are one of a kind, and you don't even miss the meat. "

" I've had the same best friends since I was five years old; they're still my best friends. I was never bullied. I was never made fun of. "

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