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" I'll go on '60 Minutes,' and whereas other parents would be like, 'You did a great job. I'm so proud of you,' my mother will be like, 'Your hair - it was not nice.' "
Maysoon Zayid
Hair
Job
Mother
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" If you're disabled, and you're trying to achieve your dreams, accept the fact right now that you have to work 500 times more than the average bear next to you. Stop bucking for sympathy, put on your titanium legs, and run. "
Maysoon Zayid
Dreams
Your Dreams
Work
" I was able to walk at 5. I had to be able to walk in order to be mainstreamed into public school. And my father worked day and night to teach me how to walk. And I think what's so amazing about this is the fact that he was told that I would never walk. And he decided that he was going to try. "
Maysoon Zayid
Father
Walk
Think
" I am not naive, and I do realize that racism is alive and well in the United States of America. I am also fully aware that when segregation ended, we didn't all live happily ever after. No one can convince me, however, that life in America would be better if blacks and whites had stayed separate and unequal. "
Maysoon Zayid
Live
Life
I Am
" It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up. "
Maysoon Zayid
America
She
Never
" Palestinians are Christian, Muslims, atheist, Buddhist - you name it. And the majority I know have nothing against Judaism and everything against Israeli oppression. "
Maysoon Zayid
Christian
Name
You
" I'm not trying to represent all Muslim women. I'm trying to give voice to the silent majority. Unfortunately, I'm a bit loony. "
Maysoon Zayid
Silent
Women
Majority
" I'm a person who watches TV all the time - all the time; I love TV. And I really think that the media heavily influences how we as a society behave towards each other. And one of the things that I find to be lacking on television are positive images of diversity. "
Maysoon Zayid
Love
Positive
Society
" The United States needs to stop putting Israel's wants above Palestinian rights. "
Maysoon Zayid
Rights
United States
Stop
" I think religion is very personal. I definitely identify as Muslim. I consider myself practicing, but I don't think people who observe me from the outside would think of me as devout, and that doesn't bother me because one of the beauties of Islam is the fact that it is personal: you read the Koran, and what you believe is what you believe. "
Maysoon Zayid
Religion
Believe
Myself
" I spent my summers in a war zone because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna. "
Maysoon Zayid
War
Afraid
Back
" I'm very much inspired by things that anger me. If I see bigotry, stupidity, or injustice on the news, I'm inspired to find a way to make it into something comedic and relatable. Anger inspires me. Stupidity inspires me. My family inspires me. My accountant inspires me. Everything and anything, really. "
Maysoon Zayid
Anger
Family
Injustice
" Palestine-Israel is such a ludicrous issue. "
Maysoon Zayid
Ludicrous
Issue
" Comedy is free therapy. And if it's done well, the audience and the comic take turns being the doctor as well as the patient. "
Maysoon Zayid
Done
Audience
Comedy
" I think there's a backlash against minorities in this country and that part of what caused that was the fact that a black man became president. And a certain portion of the privileged population think their privilege is at stake, and they want it back. "
Maysoon Zayid
Black
Privilege
Think
" It is easy to go vegan in Palestine, which is where I quit eating food with a face. The vegetables and spices are one of a kind, and you don't even miss the meat. "
Maysoon Zayid
Quit
Face
Eating
" The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith. They did, however, seem very concerned that I would starve to death during Ramadan. I would explain to them that I have enough fat to live off of for three whole months, so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake. "
Maysoon Zayid
Live
Fat
Faith
" My parents couldn't afford physical therapy, so they sent me to dancing school. I learned how to dance in heels, which means I can walk in heels. And I'm from Jersey, and we are really concerned with being chic, so if my friends wore heels, so did I. "
Maysoon Zayid
Parents
Me
I Can
" I've had the same best friends since I was five years old; they're still my best friends. I was never bullied. I was never made fun of. "
Maysoon Zayid
Old
Same
Best
" Not wearing hijab has seriously, seriously hurt my career. Mass media wants to see a woman in a veil. But I think it helps me because it makes it easier for my audience to relate to me. I'm not the scary 'other' they keep seeing on 'Fox News.' "
Maysoon Zayid
Me
Career
Media
" I believe very deeply in my soul that God paired me and my father purposely and that he knew that my father would give me the strength to be a person with disability that was proud, always held her head high, and was never, ever bitter. "
Maysoon Zayid
Father
Me
Proud
" I shake all the time. It's exhausting and causes chronic pain in my joints and muscles. It is also the only life I have ever known. I use yoga, dance, nutrition, and breathing to help manage my symptoms. "
Maysoon Zayid
Time
Pain
Life
" From fear to bonding with the audience to getting more open - that's what standup is. It humanises you. "
Maysoon Zayid
You
Audience
Bonding
" In the interest of full disclosure, let me state that I hate Hamas. They embody everything that I, as a human being, am fighting against: oppression, religious rule, and patriarchy. They empower Israel while dividing the Palestinians. "
Maysoon Zayid
Empower
Hate
Me
" I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. "
Maysoon Zayid
You
Boring
Stand Up
" If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal. I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey. "
Maysoon Zayid
Muslim
Win
New
" As a comedian, Trump is comedy gold, and he almost makes my job too easy... the stuff that comes out of his mouth is a precious commodity. "
Maysoon Zayid
Comedy
Mouth
Precious
" Forget Paula Dean; when it comes to on-air celebrity chefs, no one makes my stomach go pitter-patter more than Chef Anthony Bourdain. He is absolutely fearless. "
Maysoon Zayid
More
Fearless
Chef
" I'm not here to impose Sharia law, and I'm not here to have a message about disability being inspirational - I'm here to make people laugh. But when I can layer things and make people not only laugh but question, make people not only laugh but be offended... I have to do that. "
Maysoon Zayid
Law
Inspirational
Laugh
" My friend and I founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival to counter the negative images of Arabs in media. And we always made sure that the comedy came first. So we weren't a bunch of Arabs trying to be funny. We were a bunch of comedians who just happened to be of Arab heritage. "
Maysoon Zayid
Funny
Negative
New York
" With George Bush, I had absolutely no fear that I would ever be silenced. With Donald Trump, I think I could get dragged offstage and have people actually cheer it. I never thought that would happen in America. "
Maysoon Zayid
America
Thought
People