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" I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. "
Maysoon Zayid
You
Boring
Stand Up
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" I'm very much inspired by things that anger me. If I see bigotry, stupidity, or injustice on the news, I'm inspired to find a way to make it into something comedic and relatable. Anger inspires me. Stupidity inspires me. My family inspires me. My accountant inspires me. Everything and anything, really. "
Maysoon Zayid
Anger
Family
Injustice
" Comedy is free therapy. And if it's done well, the audience and the comic take turns being the doctor as well as the patient. "
Maysoon Zayid
Done
Audience
Comedy
" The most obvious thing I do is I don't wear a burqa, and I'm definitely not oppressed. Plus, I'm quite obviously an independent thinker, which means as soon as I walk on stage, I dispel a lot of those stereotypes. "
Maysoon Zayid
Stereotypes
Independent
Stage
" Today, I am a touring standup comic who cannot stand up. Within three minutes, I begin to wilt, lose my balance, and topple over. I can tap dance and run in heels, but I need to use a wheelchair to navigate airports. "
Maysoon Zayid
I Am
Stand Up
Today
" I think religion is very personal. I definitely identify as Muslim. I consider myself practicing, but I don't think people who observe me from the outside would think of me as devout, and that doesn't bother me because one of the beauties of Islam is the fact that it is personal: you read the Koran, and what you believe is what you believe. "
Maysoon Zayid
Religion
Believe
Myself
" Disability in the Middle East is viewed through a different lens because you're in wartime countries where it's much more mainstream, so I was just never 'other'd. "
Maysoon Zayid
Disability
Lens
More
" The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith. They did, however, seem very concerned that I would starve to death during Ramadan. I would explain to them that I have enough fat to live off of for three whole months, so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake. "
Maysoon Zayid
Live
Fat
Faith
" I shake all the time. It's exhausting and causes chronic pain in my joints and muscles. It is also the only life I have ever known. I use yoga, dance, nutrition, and breathing to help manage my symptoms. "
Maysoon Zayid
Time
Pain
Life
" We have been sold a Muslim boogeyman. We are buying into it, and we are terrified, and that terror is causing people to lash out at comedians like myself or women wearing hijabs, or anyone who seems to defend equality for Muslims worldwide. "
Maysoon Zayid
Like
Women
Equality
" If you're disabled, and you're trying to achieve your dreams, accept the fact right now that you have to work 500 times more than the average bear next to you. Stop bucking for sympathy, put on your titanium legs, and run. "
Maysoon Zayid
Dreams
Your Dreams
Work
" Disability is as visual as race. If a wheelchair user can't play Beyonce, then Beyonce can't play a wheelchair user. "
Maysoon Zayid
Play
Disability
Then
" I'm not here to impose Sharia law, and I'm not here to have a message about disability being inspirational - I'm here to make people laugh. But when I can layer things and make people not only laugh but question, make people not only laugh but be offended... I have to do that. "
Maysoon Zayid
Law
Inspirational
Laugh
" With George Bush, I had absolutely no fear that I would ever be silenced. With Donald Trump, I think I could get dragged offstage and have people actually cheer it. I never thought that would happen in America. "
Maysoon Zayid
America
Thought
People
" March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. Don't feel bad if you did not know that. I didn't, either, until someone recently slapped a picture of a green ribbon and a message wishing me a 'Happy CP Awareness Month' on my Facebook page. I always thought March was Women's History Month. "
Maysoon Zayid
Green
Women
Thought
" The Palestine I know is a place where Christians and Muslims are equal. My mother, a Muslim village girl, attended a Catholic girls' school in Ramallah, and my refugee husband spent the Second Intifada side by side with his Christian brothers from Bethlehem. "
Maysoon Zayid
Place
Girl
Husband
" I was able to walk at 5. I had to be able to walk in order to be mainstreamed into public school. And my father worked day and night to teach me how to walk. And I think what's so amazing about this is the fact that he was told that I would never walk. And he decided that he was going to try. "
Maysoon Zayid
Father
Walk
Think
" Palestine-Israel is such a ludicrous issue. "
Maysoon Zayid
Ludicrous
Issue
" I am a hardcore foodie, which means I love to eat. I was also born with cerebral palsy, which means I shake all the time - so cooking is not my thing, as I am banned from being around knives and fire. Those who cannot cook, watch, and I am obsessed with cooking shows. "
Maysoon Zayid
I Am
Love
Time
" It is easy to go vegan in Palestine, which is where I quit eating food with a face. The vegetables and spices are one of a kind, and you don't even miss the meat. "
Maysoon Zayid
Quit
Face
Eating
" From fear to bonding with the audience to getting more open - that's what standup is. It humanises you. "
Maysoon Zayid
You
Audience
Bonding
" See, I'm totally fearless. I got my chops in the most, like, dangerous comedy atmosphere. If you can make it in New York, you can really do stand-up anywhere. "
Maysoon Zayid
You
New York
See
" I think that social media has really empowered bullies because you get to do it from the comfort of your own home, completely anonymously, with no ramifications. "
Maysoon Zayid
Think
You
Home
" My parents couldn't afford physical therapy, so they sent me to dancing school. I learned how to dance in heels, which means I can walk in heels. And I'm from Jersey, and we are really concerned with being chic, so if my friends wore heels, so did I. "
Maysoon Zayid
Parents
Me
I Can
" I believe very deeply in my soul that God paired me and my father purposely and that he knew that my father would give me the strength to be a person with disability that was proud, always held her head high, and was never, ever bitter. "
Maysoon Zayid
Father
Me
Proud
" Palestinians are Christian, Muslims, atheist, Buddhist - you name it. And the majority I know have nothing against Judaism and everything against Israeli oppression. "
Maysoon Zayid
Christian
Name
You
" As far as characters that are written as Muslims, we're only seeing one dimension. It's either the good Muslim who is helping the FBI, or the taxi driver-terrorist bundled in one. "
Maysoon Zayid
Taxi
FBI
Far
" As a comedian, Trump is comedy gold, and he almost makes my job too easy... the stuff that comes out of his mouth is a precious commodity. "
Maysoon Zayid
Comedy
Mouth
Precious
" It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up. "
Maysoon Zayid
America
She
Never
" When I ask people what they think of when they hear the term 'cerebral palsy,' I usually get one of two responses. They either think of a smiling, crumpled child in a wheelchair on a poster or commercials on late night TV with lawyers enticing parents of CP kids to sue the pants off their obstetrician. "
Maysoon Zayid
Child
Think
People
" I'm a person who watches TV all the time - all the time; I love TV. And I really think that the media heavily influences how we as a society behave towards each other. And one of the things that I find to be lacking on television are positive images of diversity. "
Maysoon Zayid
Love
Positive
Society