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All Quotes by author - Mort Sahl

" A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now. "

" I didn't think that anything is beyond humor - not profane humor, but a good, honest approach to humor. "

" If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job. "

" I'm a radical, and I always have been. "

" I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers. "

" I used to go to two movies every week for the Saturday matinee when I was a kid. "

" Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen. "

" My life needs editing. "

" People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely. "

" Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times. "

" Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost. "

" Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference. "

" When people write comedy from neutrality, it just gets kind of silly. "

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