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" A chaplain's assistant is customarily a figure of fun in the American Army. "

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" Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself. But mankind wasn't always so lucky. Less than a century ago, men and women did not have easy access to the puzzle boxes within them. "

" Science sent the Hubble telescope out into space, so it could capture light and the absence thereof, from the very beginning of time. And the telescope really did that. So now we know that there was once absolutely nothing, such a perfect nothing that there wasn't even nothing or once. "

" If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy. "

" I was a chemistry major, but I'm always winding up as a teacher in English departments, so I've brought scientific thinking to literature. There's been very little gratitude for this. "

" I left the Middle West for Schenectady because the General Electric Company offered me a more congenial, better paying job than did anyone else. "

" Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John. "

" Over the years, people I've met have often asked me what I'm working on, and I've usually replied that the main thing was a book about Dresden. "

" When I'm being funny, I try not to offend. I don't think much of what I've done has been in really ghastly taste. I don't think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them. "

" It may be that the most striking thing about members of my literary generation in retrospect will be that we were allowed to say absolutely anything without fear of punishment. "

" Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone. "

" I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it's a very poor scheme for survival. "

" The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest. "

" The feeling about a soldier is, when all is said and done, he wasn't really going to do very much with his life anyway. The example usually is: he wasn't going to compose Beethoven's Fifth. "

" True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. "

" I let the dog out, or I let him in, and we talk some. I let him know I like him, and he lets me know he likes me. "

" Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say? "

" There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia. "

" One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand. "

" Actually, to be an effective person politically in this country, I think you have to be thirty or over, and also you have to be rich, well-placed, you have to be close to power. And I don't think that young people, because they look young, can do much, as I think they are counterproductive. "

" About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm. "

" The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. "

" Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae. "

" I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep. "

" When a man becomes a writer, I think he takes on a sacred obligation to produce beauty and enlightenment and comfort at top speed. "

" People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say. "

" Oh, sure, we have another world war coming, and another great depression, but where are the leaders this time? "

" People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God. "

" This is Sunday, and the question arises, what'll I start tomorrow? "

" I now make my living by being impolite. I am clumsy at it. "

" The year was 2081, and everyone was finally equal. "