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" A diplomat these days is nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. "

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" I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic. "

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" I'm convinced there's a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer. "

" Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus. "

" Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. "

" Once we are destined to live out our lives in the prison of our mind, our duty is to furnish it well. "

" I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day. "

" Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. "

" Critics search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find. "

" Books, I don't know what you see in them. I can understand a person reading them, but I can't for the life of me see why people have to write them. "

" The French and the British are such good enemies that they can't resist being friends. "

" Men think about women. Women think about what men think about them. "

" The point of living and of being an optimist is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. "

" If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue. "

" Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. "

" The habit of religion is oppressive, an easy way out of thought. "

" Intelligent or not, we all make mistakes and perhaps the intelligent mistakes are the worst, because so much careful thought has gone into them. "

" Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of. "

" If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. "

" By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door. "

" I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. "

" Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved. "

" The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill. "

" It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously. "

" I have three daughters and I find as a result I played King Lear almost without rehearsal. "

" Pavarotti is not vain, but conscious of being unique. "

" Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much. "