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" A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss. "
Tina Fey
Boss
School
Way
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" I'm more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I'm mostly an improviser, though I haven't improvised in awhile. "
Tina Fey
More
Writer
Used
" I really wasn't heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school. "
Tina Fey
Own
High School
Skin
" I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. "
Tina Fey
Want
Me
Confidence
" When I was going to school in, like, '84 to '88, you didn't have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that. "
Tina Fey
Going
You
School
" Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying. "
Tina Fey
Like
Feel
Day
" The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It's not forbidden anymore. "
Tina Fey
Comfortable
Dressing
Now
" I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that. "
Tina Fey
Nothing
Two
Stress
" Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool. "
Tina Fey
Live
Think
Time
" You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don't think Botox is for me. I think it is bad. People who have too much, they look like their faces are full of candles - a shiny, shiny face. "
Tina Fey
You
Bad People
People
" Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don't know who that's attributed to. I think it's Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great. "
Tina Fey
Know
You
Think
" I was a very confident little kid. "
Tina Fey
Kid
Little
Little Kid
" Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy. "
Tina Fey
Mom
Me
Made
" I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people. "
Tina Fey
Love
Thank You
People
" When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards. "
Tina Fey
Live
Choice
Glasses
" When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Rosemary Clooney was so pretty. When I was, like, nine, I would tell people, 'You know who I kind of look like? Rosemary Clooney.' "
Tina Fey
Thought
People
Loved
" I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom. "
Tina Fey
Get
Mom
Movies
" I feel like I represent normalcy in some way. "
Tina Fey
Feel
Way
Like
" We're all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn't let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn't let us watch 'The Flintstones' if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of 'The Honeymooners'. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old 'Honeymooners'. "
Tina Fey
Me
Summer
Parents
" The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they're doing well, you don't really need to be in control all the time. "
Tina Fey
Me
Time
You
" I feel like it's harder to get women to show up for movies. "
Tina Fey
Feel
Women
Up
" If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities. "
Tina Fey
Actor
Opportunities
You
" I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen. "
Tina Fey
Stars
Amazing
Gay
" Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model. "
Tina Fey
You
Help
Leader
" When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. "
Tina Fey
People
Feel
Come
" Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward. "
Tina Fey
You
Something
Find
" Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity. "
Tina Fey
Myself
Me
Laugh
" I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it's terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It's a dying art, in a way. "
Tina Fey
Think
Art
Cool
" I think everyone's intentions are to become a performer at first. But by the time I was in high school and college, I discovered that I liked writing and that I was probably a little better at it. "
Tina Fey
School
College
Time
" You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone. "
Tina Fey
Someone
Destroy
Writing
" I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. And I don't think anyone's really doing it. "
Tina Fey
Women
Way
Think