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" I think everyone's intentions are to become a performer at first. But by the time I was in high school and college, I discovered that I liked writing and that I was probably a little better at it. "

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" I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it's terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It's a dying art, in a way. "

Tina Fey

Think

Art

Cool

" We're all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn't let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn't let us watch 'The Flintstones' if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of 'The Honeymooners'. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old 'Honeymooners'. "

Tina Fey

Summer

Parents

" If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. "

" I don't like my feet. I'm not crazy about anybody's feet. But I have flat feet. "

Tina Fey

Crazy

About

" I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. "

Tina Fey

Want

Confidence

" If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities. "

" When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Rosemary Clooney was so pretty. When I was, like, nine, I would tell people, 'You know who I kind of look like? Rosemary Clooney.' "

" Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool. "

" I'm not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it. "

" Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying. "

Tina Fey

Feel

Day

" Twitter seems like a busman's holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I'll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I'm old-fashioned that way. "

Tina Fey

Plans

Way

" I'm a big fan of 'The Office', both the British and the American versions. "

" I really wasn't heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school. "

" Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward. "

" I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, 'Yeah, I'm not cool enough for the West Village.' "

" A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss. "

" I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen. "

" I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, 'I'll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.' "

" Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about. "

" I don't like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don't think that fighting and passion are the same thing. "

" Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in. "

Tina Fey

You

Husband

" I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that. "

" Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy. "

Tina Fey

Mom

Made

" I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people. "

" I remember failing my Princeton interview. My mom wanted me to apply because ever since I was a kid she had this dream that I would apply to Princeton, but it was just not happening. "

Tina Fey

Remember

She

" I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. And I don't think anyone's really doing it. "

" When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. "

" Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don't know who that's attributed to. I think it's Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great. "

" I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people. "

" I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah. "