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" A lot of aspiring writers are all ready to write a novel, but they don't know how to write sentences. "

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" What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy. "

" In fiction, when you paint yourself into a corner, you can write a pair of suction cups onto the bottoms of your shoes and walk up the wall and out the skylight and see the sun breaking through the clouds. In nonfiction, you don't have that luxury. "

" A writer needs a life of introspection. "

" The ultimate end of any ideology is totalitarianism. "

Totalitarianism

" If little else, the brain is an educational toy. "

" To some extent, Seattle remains a frontier metropolis, a place where people can experiment with their lives, and change and grow and make things happen. "

" Most novelists write about twisted lives. "

" I've decided to take advantage of outsourcing. My next novel will be written by a couple of guys in Bangalore, India. "

" I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights contains all the secrets of the universe. "

" At the typewriter you find out who you are. "

" In Seattle, I soon found that my radical ideas and aesthetic explorations - ideas and explorations that in Richmond, Virginia, might have gotten me stoned to death with hush puppies - were not only accepted but occasionally applauded. "

" Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. "

" I have never ever Googled myself; in fact I think the Christian right prohibits such things. "

" The harsh truth is, most red-haired men look like blondes who've spoiled from lack of refrigeration. They look like brown-haired men who've been composted out behind the barn. Yet that same pigmentation that on a man can resemble leaf mold or junkyard rust, a woman wears like a tiara of rubies. "

" When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. "

" The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplacable being. "

" Well, I have never, ever Googled myself. "

" I eat so much mayonnaise they were going to send me to the Mayo Clinic. "

" My paintings are very strange - large and empty, like walls. Just the opposite of my writing, which is rich and juicy. "

" The gods have chosen to entertain me with chronic eyestrain headaches. Very poisonous episodes. So I don't do a lot of reading anymore except on tape. "

" There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for. "

" In order to be respected, authority has got to be respectable. "

" The brutal truth is, we're scarcely 'educating' children at all. Even if you overlook the guilt, fear, bigotry, and dangerous anti-intellectual flapdoodle being funneled into young brains by schools on the religious right, what we're doing is training kids to be cogs in the wheels of commerce. "

" I am cheerful. I don't know if I'm happy. There is a difference, you know. "

" People write memoirs because they lack the imagination to make things up. "

" I would only read the novels that people classify as 'beach books' if I were being held prisoner and the only alternative was the 'Book of Mormon.' "

" The one thing emphasized in any creative writing course is 'write what you know,' and that automatically drives a wooden stake through the heart of imagination. If they really understood the mysterious process of creating fiction, they would say, 'You can write about anything you can imagine.' "

" Transformation, liberation and celebration are the themes of all my novels. "

" There are stories still in existence that I wrote when I was five. However, I did not get published until I was seven. "

" To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being. "

To Be Or Not To Be