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" Aliens didn't come down to Earth and give us technology. We invented it ourselves. Therefore it can never be alienating; it can only be an expression of our humanity. "

Douglas Coupland

Never

Earth

Technology

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" The thing about the end of the world is that not just the West collapses, the whole world does. "

" Technology favors horrible people. "

" The modern economy isn't about the redistribution of wealth, it's about the redistribution of time. "

" I've always felt like an alien trapped in a human form. We all do at some time or other; for me it's a permanent state, and I'm still unsure if Earth is a penance or a reward. "

Douglas Coupland

Time

Reward

" New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108. "

" I think social and moral disengagement is repugnant. "

" I tend to look for pathologies everywhere. "

" Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely. "

" If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal. "

" We really ought to give ourselves a collective pat on the back for doing as well as we have in a universe of constant media change and mutation. "

" I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements. "

Douglas Coupland

Money

People

" We were never supposed to live until 40. We were built to self-destruct at 30, whether from cancer or mental illness. We're all going way beyond our expiration date. "

" I've got 911 on speed dial. "

" Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive. "

" Every human being you see in the course of a day has a problem that's sucking up at least 70 percent of his or her radar. "

" Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy. "

" Bespoke tailoring: yes! I found this one pair of pants - they're Canali - and brought them into a tailor and said, 'Clone these, dammit.' They just do all the right things. I've got eight pairs in different colors and I never have to think about pants again. The only look otherwise that suits me is, like, the Professor from 'Gilligan's Island.' "

" Those Catholics, they really nab you when you're young. They sear you. They sear you; they do. "

" If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us. "

" Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships. "

" Birds are a miracle because they prove to us there is a finer, simpler state of being which we may strive to attain. "

" The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price, that of feeling nothing at all. "

" In my mind, I've always checked out in 2037; that's always been my expiration date. I'll be 75. "

" I worship teachers. They can't be paid enough. It depresses me that society sees them as somehow expendable. "

Douglas Coupland

Society

Enough

" Headwise, I always kind of knew that everyone goes grey in our family very early - and I was like, it works for me. I started growing my beard, and it changes the shape of your skull and your face, and I started seeing my mother's side of the family in myself for the first time. "

Douglas Coupland

Face

Family

" Soon it won't be the Internet any more, it'll just be like air, like somehow they'll integrate the Internet into the air. And God's name will have ended up being 'Google,' because that's the way it worked out. It could have worked out that God's name ended up being 'Yahoo,' of course, but they lost out. "