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" Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas. "
Michael Caine
Got
Comedy
Some
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" I learned about life before I went into the theater, which is why I've been so happy. I was a soldier. "
Michael Caine
Soldier
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Life
" My view of actors is that basically they're all harmless lunatics who'd be on the psychiatrist's couch, except that we get this sort of catharsis every six months or so, and we go and be absolutely someone else. "
Michael Caine
Someone
Psychiatrist
Go
" You get paid the same for a bad film as you do for a good one. "
Michael Caine
Film
Paid
Same
" My wife comes with me on all the movies, but she is not an appendage to a film star or anything like that. She is a completely intertwined partner. She is the other half of me. Also, we're still very much in love with each other. We always have been, we always will be. "
Michael Caine
Wife
Me
Love
" At age 11, I went to a Jewish school. I speak Yiddish. I'm Church of England Protestant. My father was Catholic, and my mother was Protestant. My wife is a Muslim. "
Michael Caine
Speak
Wife
Father
" The American cinema in general always made stories about working-class people; the British rarely did. Any person with my working-class background would be a villain or a comic cipher, usually badly played, and with a rotten accent. There weren't a lot of guys in England for me to look up to. "
Michael Caine
Villain
American
Me
" To be a movie star, you have to carry a movie. And to carry a movie where you play the title role is the supreme example. "
Michael Caine
Carry
Example
Star
" Comedy is underrepresented in every actor's life, because it's so bloody difficult to write. "
Michael Caine
Actor
Life
Difficult
" If someone is very upper-class, you have a stereotype of him which is probably true. If someone has a working-class accent, you have no idea who you're talking to. "
Michael Caine
Someone
Talking
True
" In my early days, I didn't know what a good film or a bad film was, and I was trying to make some money. As it happens I was lucky. I made some good films. "
Michael Caine
Early
Money
Trying
" English is clipped in speech. Texas is exactly the opposite. "
Michael Caine
Texas
English
Opposite
" You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, 'cause you wind up with no room at all. You just get a little corner, and you've got a toothbrush and your paste and a shaving brush and a razor. "
Michael Caine
Bathroom
You
Love
" One of the main things about Cockney is, you speak at twice the speed as Americans. Americans speak very slow. "
Michael Caine
Speak
Slow
Speed
" I think what is British about me is my feelings and awareness of others and their situations. English people are always known to be well mannered and cold but we are not cold - we don't interfere in your situation. If we are heartbroken, we don't scream in your face with tears - we go home and cry on our own. "
Michael Caine
Face
Me
Tears
" I think I have the secret of a successful L.A. restaurant, especially now that so many Europeans live there. You have to have a place where they can see out the windows, see the world passing by. Europeans fancy that. "
Michael Caine
Place
Restaurant
Live
" If you go away on location for three months and your wife stays at home, you've made a whole new load of friends and she's made a whole new load of friends and you get home and you're kind of strangers. "
Michael Caine
You
Friends
Home
" I wouldn't make an anti-American film. I'm one of the most pro-American foreigners I know. I love America and Americans. "
Michael Caine
Make
Most
America
" I'll always be there because I'm a skilled professional actor. Whether or not I've any talent is beside the point. "
Michael Caine
Always
Any
Talent
" When you reach the top, that's when the climb begins. "
Michael Caine
Reach
You
Top
" The first thing I'll do if I want to look really crappy is, I don't wear any makeup at all. "
Michael Caine
Really
Want
First
" The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years. "
Michael Caine
Drunk
Years
Actor
" But the whole point of the Sixties was that you had to take people as they were. If you came in with us you left your class, and colour, and religion behind, that was what the Sixties was all about. "
Michael Caine
Us
You
Class
" There's quite a lot of bad stuff written about me. My wife even says a lot of bad stuff about me. But she is wonderful. "
Michael Caine
Stuff
Wife
Wonderful
" When you're a movie star and you're young, you are always playing someone who's a better fighter, a better lover, a better everything than you. "
Michael Caine
Better
Young
You
" I did everything. I ran my life exactly as I wanted to, all the time. I never listened to anybody. I'm pig-headed. "
Michael Caine
My Life
Time
Never
" I read books like mad, but I am careful to to let anything I read influence me. "
Michael Caine
Me
Mad
Influence
" To me, 'Educating Rita' is the most perfect performance I could give of a character who was as far away from me as you could possibly get and of all the films I have ever been in, I think it may be the one I am most proud of. "
Michael Caine
I Am
You
Think
" I had been nine years in the theatre and hadn't had massive success. My only thing was I wanted to be an actor and I didn't care when, where, or how much for. "
Michael Caine
Theatre
Success
Actor
" I don't think you retire from movies; movies retire you. "
Michael Caine
You
Think
Retire
" You can see all sorts of things in film acting if you know where to look and what to look for. One thing I often notice is that the actor is looking for his mark, the place where he has to stand to be in the right place in the shot. "
Michael Caine
Know
You
Place