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" Around my neighborhood, I'm known as the American who talks to her computer while she types. "
Pamela Druckerman
She
American
Her
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" Childhood and adolescence are nothing but milestones: You grow taller, advance to new grades, and get your period, your driver's license, and your diploma. Then, in your 20s and 30s, you romance potential partners, find jobs, and learn to support yourself. "
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" I was scared to say I was in my 40s because at that point, it sounded really old, and to out myself as a middle-aged human - I felt very awkward about it. "
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" Like practically everyone who grew up in Miami, I knew little about its history. We were more worried about mangoes falling on our cars. "
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" Remember that the problem with hyper-parenting isn't that it's bad for children; it's that it's bad for parents. "
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" One of the many problems with parenting is that kids keep changing. Just when you're used to one stage, they zoom into another. "
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" Here's some news you might find surprising: By and large, the French like Jews. "
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" The French aren't known for being hilarious. When I told Parisians I was interested in French humor, they'd say 'French what?' "
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" Your child probably won't get into the Ivy League or win a sports scholarship. At age 24, he might be back in his childhood bedroom, in debt, after a mediocre college career. Raise him so that, if that happens, it will still have been worth it. "
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" I'm a third-generation Miamian. I'm fond of it. I'm an expatriate, so it's the only American city I can still legitimately claim. "
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Claim
I Can
" When you're further along in your career, you probably have more money and more means; you have to stop yourself from giving your child too much. Whereas, if you're in twenties, you might just get by. "
Pamela Druckerman
You
Child
Giving
" When we're in the U.S., my kids instantly start snacking all the time. I don't know how it happens. There is just more food available all the time. There aren't all these little different varieties of snack foods in France. "
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Start
Time
More
" I hear people in their 20s describe the 40s as a far-off decade of too-late, when they'll regret things that they haven't done. But for older people I meet, the 40s are the decade that they would most like to travel back to. "
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Done
Back
Regret
" This idea - that the only way to mend the relationship post-affair is through therapy - is unique to the American script. "
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Way
Unique
" It's fine to discuss money in France, as long as you're complaining that you don't have enough, or boasting about getting a bargain. "
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Long
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" Podcasts immersed me in colloquial English and put me back in the American zeitgeist. "
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Immersed
Back
" My family was once invited to lunch at a chateau owned by a friend of a friend. As we drove our rental car up to the giant castle, my kids gasped and said, 'They must be rich!' "
Pamela Druckerman
Rich
Car
Said
" The French don't think everyone should have the same bank balance, but they're offended by extremes of inequality. "
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Inequality
Bank
Balance
" And as a mother of three with a full-time job, podcasts gave me the illusion of having a vibrant social life. I was constantly 'meeting' new people. My favorite hosts started to seem like friends: I could detect small shifts in their moods and tell when they were flirting with guests. "
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Me
Job
Life
" In the Nineties, there was all this new research into brain development, with evidence saying poor kids fall behind in school because no one is talking to them at home, no one is reading to them. And middle-class parents seized on this research. "
Pamela Druckerman
Parents
School
Reading
" Parisiennes rarely walk around wearing the giant diamonds that are de rigueur in certain New York neighborhoods. "
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Walk
New York
New
" I had applied to become French - or, rather, Franco-American, as I'm now a dual citizen - partly because I could: I'd lived and paid taxes here for long enough. "
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Citizen
Enough
Long
" When I moved to Europe 12 years ago, my biggest concern was whether I'd ever speak decent French. Practically every American I knew came to visit, many saying they dreamed of living here, too. "
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Here
Speak
Saying
" You know you're in your 40s when you've spent 48 hours trying to think of a word, and that word was 'hemorrhoids.' "
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" When people used to ask me what I missed about America, I would say, 'The optimism.' I grew up in the land of hope, then moved to one whose catchphrases are 'It's not possible' and 'Hell is other people.' I walked around Paris feeling conspicuously chipper. "
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" Even for natives, French satire is rarely laugh-out-loud funny. Its unspoken punch line is typically that things have gone irrevocably wrong, and the government is to blame. "
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Wrong
Blame
Funny
" Although I wrote a book about infidelity around the world, I ended up concluding that fidelity is quite a good idea. "
Pamela Druckerman
Book
Idea
Good
" Just as dressing well in your forties entails making choices that reflect who you are and not just wearing generic basics, looking good as you get older requires accentuating and enjoying what's specific to you rather than striving for cookie-cutter perfection. "
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Perfection
Looking
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" The overarching conventional wisdom - what everyone from government experts to my French girlfriends take as articles of faith - is that restrictive diets generally don't make you healthier or slimmer. Instead, it's best to eat a variety of high-quality foods in moderation and pay attention to whether you're hungry. "
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Government
Faith
Best
" A lot of French comedy is satire. "
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French
Lot
Satire
" I spend much of my free time listening to podcasts of American comedians talking to each other. "
Pamela Druckerman
Listening
Time
Talking