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" When people used to ask me what I missed about America, I would say, 'The optimism.' I grew up in the land of hope, then moved to one whose catchphrases are 'It's not possible' and 'Hell is other people.' I walked around Paris feeling conspicuously chipper. "

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" Your child probably won't get into the Ivy League or win a sports scholarship. At age 24, he might be back in his childhood bedroom, in debt, after a mediocre college career. Raise him so that, if that happens, it will still have been worth it. "

Pamela Druckerman

Age

Child

Childhood

" One of the maddening things about being a foreigner in France is that hardly anyone in the rest of the world knows what's really happening here. They think Paris is a socialist museum where people are exceptionally good at eating small bits of chocolate and tying scarves. "

" It's refreshing to have some time off from wondering whether I look fat. "

" Just as dressing well in your forties entails making choices that reflect who you are and not just wearing generic basics, looking good as you get older requires accentuating and enjoying what's specific to you rather than striving for cookie-cutter perfection. "

" Having lived in America and France, I've been on both sides of the picky-eating divide. "

" The French don't think everyone should have the same bank balance, but they're offended by extremes of inequality. "

" In the Nineties, there was all this new research into brain development, with evidence saying poor kids fall behind in school because no one is talking to them at home, no one is reading to them. And middle-class parents seized on this research. "

" I hear people in their 20s describe the 40s as a far-off decade of too-late, when they'll regret things that they haven't done. But for older people I meet, the 40s are the decade that they would most like to travel back to. "

" Where Americans might coo over a child's most inane remark to boost his confidence, middle-class French parents teach their kids to be concise and amusing, to keep everyone listening. "

" I think, in writing a memoir, you kind of give order to your life. "

" Although I wrote a book about infidelity around the world, I ended up concluding that fidelity is quite a good idea. "

" I've never gotten a good idea while checking Twitter or shopping. "

" Parisiennes rarely walk around wearing the giant diamonds that are de rigueur in certain New York neighborhoods. "

" Like practically everyone who grew up in Miami, I knew little about its history. We were more worried about mangoes falling on our cars. "

" When you're further along in your career, you probably have more money and more means; you have to stop yourself from giving your child too much. Whereas, if you're in twenties, you might just get by. "

" Optimism - even, and perhaps especially in the face of difficulty - has long been an American hallmark. "

" French children seem to be able to play by themselves in a way. "

" The main thing my bookcase says about me is that I'm not French. "

Pamela Druckerman

Main

Says

" I spend much of my free time listening to podcasts of American comedians talking to each other. "

" The question on my husband's birthday is always, What do you get for the man who has nothing? "

" Teach your kids emotional intelligence. Help them become more evolved than you are. Explain that, for instance, not everyone will like them. "

" How hard or easy it is to raise kids, especially while working, is a big part of people's well-being everywhere. "

" Around my neighborhood, I'm known as the American who talks to her computer while she types. "

" When we're in the U.S., my kids instantly start snacking all the time. I don't know how it happens. There is just more food available all the time. There aren't all these little different varieties of snack foods in France. "

Pamela Druckerman

Start

Time

" Practically every time I speak up at a school conference, a political event, or my apartment building association's annual meeting, I'm met with a display of someone else's superior intelligence. "

" A large part of the creative process is tolerating the gap between the glorious image you had in your mind and the sad thing you've just made. "

" I've been vacationing in western North Carolina and northern Georgia since I was a kid. I arrive, marvel at the mountains, and put on an unconvincing Southern drawl. "

" Earnestness makes British people gag. "

" Here's some news you might find surprising: By and large, the French like Jews. "

" When you're the foreigner and your kids are the natives, they realize you're clueless much sooner than they ordinarily would. I'm pretty sure mine skipped the Mommy-is-infallible stage entirely. "