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" By the age of 13, I knew I wanted to be a comedian like Morecambe and Wise. So, obviously, I thought I'd better start practising my interviews for Parkinson. Don't look shocked - I wasn't the only teenager to imagine that. Though I may have been the only one to have chosen T'Pau as my walk-on music. "

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" Because I have a dog, it's easier to work at home: I sit in a horrible weird 'Mastermind'-style chair and bask in my own mediocrity. Being single, I've no family life to distract me at the end of the day. Apart from taking the dog for a walk, I have no other responsibilities. "

Miranda Hart

Dog

Home

Family

" If taking one-self seriously as a woman means committing to a life of grooming, pumicing, pruning and polishing one's exterior for the benefit of onlookers, then I may as well leave my unwieldy rucksack to the top of a bleak Scottish hill and make my home there under a stone, where I'll fashion shoes out of mud and clothes out of leaves. "

" However much I might have yearned to be one of The Beautiful Ones, particularly at those ghastly school discos, where any desperate attempt to impress the opposite sex lead to at best deep humiliation, I now feel extremely blessed that I wasn't. "

" People are obviously going to mention what I look like, but it's a shame it has to be a key part. I can't just be Miranda. "

Miranda Hart

People

Look

" I have a fantastic method for anti-ageing. It's eating. Plumps out your skin beautifully. "

" I did things like get in a cupboard before the teacher came in at the beginning of a lesson, and then, two minutes before the end of the class, I come out of the cupboard and go, 'Sorry I'm late.' "

Miranda Hart

Sorry

End

" My whole family is obsessed by brandy butter. And bread sauce. Then, of course, there will be a lot of wind in the afternoon! We have never disguised the wind side of our lives as a family; we think it's hilarious. "

" I only really and truly fully relax on my own. Give me a sun lounger, a pool and a sea view, and I'm happy. "

" I'm very much in denial that I can't dance. I really go for it, which is almost more embarrassing. "

Miranda Hart

Go For It

Much

" I absolutely don't write for women - far, far from it. It's so not what I want to do. Some of the writers, who have helped out at the beginning and end of the process - they're all men - have suggested quite feminine subjects they want me to explore. And I'm always, simply, 'No.' I don't want to do diets, don't want to. I just can't do it. "

" I own nothing of value at all. I spend money on experiences. "

" If I had had plastic surgery, I would have asked for something better than the face you are seeing! I actually really hate plastic surgery when it's just for aesthetics and anti-ageing. I think ageing is beautiful and expressive and characterful. "

" I loved school. Not sure how much I focused on the education; just had fun and played lacrosse for seven years. It was lucky I had sport, which I was good at, so it didn't matter that I wasn't great on the academic side, or not brilliant at drama. Although I am still bitter about not being in the school choir. Furious, actually. "

" My greatest fear is fear. Ooh, meta. "

" I am not married, no. I wasn't really into the notion when I was younger, but now I think a proposal is the ultimate romantic gesture. "

" When my sitcom 'Miranda' first became successful, I was so in the thick of working and I was so stressed that I didn't really enjoy the moment. You suddenly look back and go, 'Gosh, you've just got to enjoy every day.' And now I wake up and literally pinch myself every day. "

" You want comedic themes to be recogniseable life truths that we all battle with, and with that comes the healing properties of comedy. "

" I am pleased to say that as I get older, I get less and less like the sitcom 'Miranda.' She is really a clown character, a heightened version of the 20-something me. "

" In my head, I have the most sensational singing voice. I perform concerts to thousands in the shower. The reality is I can hold a tune. The dream is a West End musical one day - no, really! "

" I spent my childhood clad in 1970s hand-me-downs, primarily from male cousins, which mainly consisted of a selection of beige, brown and orange dungarees. That, combined with a perfectly round pudding-bowl haircut, made me look, on a good day, like a cross between Ann Widdecombe, one of the Flower Pot Men, and a monk. "

" I'd like someone tall, dark and nice. Independent and confident. Not a macho man. Perhaps a little bit girly, in a way. The key for me is if we can cry with laughter. "

" My greatest crush was Chandler from 'Friends.' And Goran Ivanisevic. "

" I hate talking about my height, because I don't feel like a tall person... When I see a tall woman, I'm always slightly like, 'Whoa.' It looks weird, but that could be because of my complex about it, my worry over whether it's womanly to be that tall. "

" It's a real man who can go out with a woman who's taller than he is. That's an alpha male right there. "

Miranda Hart

Real

Man

" It's on the bucket list for sure to do a comedy film, even if it was just one line on the lot. "

" It's a vicious circle. If you feel hideous, you convey it to people. A couple of male friends from university have said, 'I quite fancied you, but I wouldn't have dared...' and I was like, 'Oh really?' I was completely amazed that anyone had ever fancied me, and also that I'd obviously given an impression of 'Don't touch me.' "

" If you're naturally a certain size, I think it suits you and you can see that. There's no point in trying to conform for the sake of it. People are meant to be different shapes, and their different shapes are so interesting and, ultimately, why people fall in love with them. "

" I have always thought of comedy as an important job and medium, and so I put pressure on myself to do the best I can. "

" I wanted to be a farmer's wife. I thought it would be quite fun to wake up of a morning, collect eggs and have sheep and pigs as pets. I know now that it would also involve having to sleep with the farmer, but at the time I wasn't thinking about the sexual implications - I was 11. "

" I'll always have to force myself to see the positive, because I'm wired badly, I'd say. I'm just naturally a bit under, a bit depressed. "