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" Child! Do not throw this book about; refrain from the unholy pleasure of cutting all the pictures out. "

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" Of all fatiguing, futile, empty trades, the worst, I suppose, is writing about writing. "

" Is there no Latin word for Tea? Upon my soul, if I had known that I would have let the vulgar stuff alone. "

" I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment. "

" When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read. "

" I am writing a book about the Crusades so dull that I can scarcely write it. "

" I'm tired of love; I'm still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time. "

" The moment a man talks to his fellows he begins to lie. "

" From quiet homes and first beginning, out to the undiscovered ends, there's nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends. "

" Any subject can be made interesting, and therefore any subject can be made boring. "

" There is not anything that can so suddenly flood the mind with shame as the conviction of ignorance, yet we are all ignorant of nearly everything there is to be known. "

" An institute run with such knavish imbecility that if it were not the work of God it would not last a fortnight. "

" Just as there is nothing between the admirable omelet and the intolerable, so with autobiography. "

" The pilgrim is humble and devout, and human, and charitable, and ready to smile and admire; therefore, he should comprehend the whole of his way, the people in it, and the hills and the clouds, and the habits of the various cities. "

" Be content to remember that those who can make omelettes properly can do nothing else. "

" Every major question in history is a religious question. It has more effect in molding life than nationalism or a common language. "

" It is sometimes necessary to lie damnably in the interests of the nation. "

" Money gives me pleasure all the time. "

" Loss and possession, death and life are one, There falls no shadow where there shines no sun. "

" Statistics are the triumph of the quantitative method, and the quantitative method is the victory of sterility and death. "

" The grace of God is courtesy. "

" It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing them. "

" All men have an instinct for conflict: at least, all healthy men. "

" The microbe is so very small: You cannot take him out at all. "

" When friendship disappears then there is a space left open to that awful loneliness of the outside world which is like the cold space between the planets. It is an air in which men perish utterly. "