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" Of all fatiguing, futile, empty trades, the worst, I suppose, is writing about writing. "

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" Money gives me pleasure all the time. "

" Just as there is nothing between the admirable omelet and the intolerable, so with autobiography. "

" Is there no Latin word for Tea? Upon my soul, if I had known that I would have let the vulgar stuff alone. "

" The microbe is so very small: You cannot take him out at all. "

" Child! Do not throw this book about; refrain from the unholy pleasure of cutting all the pictures out. "

" The pilgrim is humble and devout, and human, and charitable, and ready to smile and admire; therefore, he should comprehend the whole of his way, the people in it, and the hills and the clouds, and the habits of the various cities. "

" It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing them. "

" When friendship disappears then there is a space left open to that awful loneliness of the outside world which is like the cold space between the planets. It is an air in which men perish utterly. "

" It is sometimes necessary to lie damnably in the interests of the nation. "

" I am writing a book about the Crusades so dull that I can scarcely write it. "

" Oh, my friends, be warned by me, That breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea, Are all human frame requires. "

" Loss and possession, death and life are one, There falls no shadow where there shines no sun. "

" The grace of God is courtesy. "

" There is not anything that can so suddenly flood the mind with shame as the conviction of ignorance, yet we are all ignorant of nearly everything there is to be known. "

" Statistics are the triumph of the quantitative method, and the quantitative method is the victory of sterility and death. "

" The moment a man talks to his fellows he begins to lie. "

" I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment. "

" I'm tired of love; I'm still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time. "

" Be content to remember that those who can make omelettes properly can do nothing else. "

" All men have an instinct for conflict: at least, all healthy men. "

" Any subject can be made interesting, and therefore any subject can be made boring. "

" An institute run with such knavish imbecility that if it were not the work of God it would not last a fortnight. "

" From quiet homes and first beginning, out to the undiscovered ends, there's nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends. "

" When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read. "