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" Do you know why we pay trainers and nutritionists? Because having to muster interest in the minor successes of someone else's journey toward pedestrian-ass healthiness is taxing and should be compensated. "

Mary H.K. Choi

Journey

Why

Someone

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" The first time I drank LaCroix, I half expected it to be filled with self-tanner. Or Axe body spray. "

" Pedicures are disgraceful. "

Mary H.K. Choi

Disgraceful

" Instagram is not a place for tone or irony. "

" If you can relate to what another person is going through while giving their experience room to be its own discrete thing, you're probably a crackerjack emergency contact. "

" I love New York, but sometimes New York is so mean to you. "

" Never post food on your Instagram. Nobody cares, and only old people do it. "

" I have a lot of respect for people who write a whole book because I've heard it will kill you. "

" Hopefully, if I get enough of a fan army together, people will let me write fiction. "

" The thing about living in New York as a writer is that you hit that age where it feels like everyone has a book all at the same time. It's like that one year where you're invited to twenty weddings. "

" Wikipedia's a collaborative experiment akin to Simon Winchester's account of the creation of the Oxford English Dictionary in 'The Professor and the Madman,' which outlines James Murray's mission to produce the tome in the 19th century. "

" Jockeying for a popularity position has been a valorized teen tradition since the notion of a discrete teen stage of life was invented. "

" Your mom is the first person you fall in love with, so it's loaded forever and carries all this baggage. There's almost always a communication barrier in place. In my case it's a language and cultural barrier, but other times, it's because your mother's love is conditional or because you're fundamentally different. "

" From the first time I harangued my mother into buying me a pair of platform sandals at the irascible and persistent age of 11, I've worn heels. "

Mary H.K. Choi

Age

First

" I'm a sucker when it comes to under-explored human potential and 'stuff that makes you be better.' "

" A fanboy's heart is filled with love, enthusiasm, and insecurity. "

" There is so much focus on being self-sufficient, and it makes it very difficult to ask for things. I've been crippled by this notion of high-functioning self-sufficiency. And I see it a lot in younger girls. Asking for help brings people closer in a way that I suspected but didn't actually put into practice. "

" Privateers, military contractors - these aren't pirates. They have bosses. Real pirates are sellswords on missions of their own making. "

" Never post boring back-to-back selfies. "

" The notion of this 'emergency contact' is, Do you have someone who is holding you down? Do you know where to go if you're feeling bad? I keep likening it to assigning yourself a godparent of your choosing. "

" The second single from 'Purpose,' Justin Bieber's fourth studio album, 'Sorry' is an infectious confection - a Dorito for your ears. "

" Home is where my house pants live. And they're hideous. "

" Never hold up your entire group of friends in real life trying to capture a perfect Instagram pose. Nobody cares. "

" Try life as your own boss, on your own voyage. No daily commute. No salad bar at 12:15. No cc'ing about the meeting. "

" Eventually, I just want to write wavy little short stories. "

" 'Avatar' is staggering. It's seismic. Evolutionarily speaking, it is cladogenesis in a thunderclap. "

" Yes, Justin Bieber is a contrivance. Yes, Justin Bieber's lyrics are insipid - worse still, disingenuous. Yes, his tattoos stink. Yes, he's lousy at skateboarding. But what does any of this actually matter? In case you missed it, Bieber won. "

" I'm a big believer in puking out all your thoughts in a single sitting and getting some version of the work down, because the alternative just prolongs the agony. The first draft is hideous and ajskdlkdfksjdfslfjk, but it's just a map for where the big blocks go. "

" I'm pretty sure I peaked at 15. "