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" Pedicures are disgraceful. "

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" By the time you're in your 30s, unless somebody makes the god-awful decision to gift you with a cooking class or salsa lessons, it may have been a while since you learnt something new. "

" When I moved to New York City from Texas at 22, amateur hour was over. As a newly grown-up person, I vowed I would wear dresses and skirts, wool trousers occasionally, and heels always. "

" SoulCycle feels gross, is gross, and I'm grateful to have found it. "

" A fanboy's heart is filled with love, enthusiasm, and insecurity. "

" You are overwhelmed, overscheduled, and dejected because you keep trying to have it all - or at least most of it. You want a fulfilling job and personal life, and it's not working. The way out? Work more. "

" I love New York, but sometimes New York is so mean to you. "

" For my first job interview out of college, I wore a cream-colored cotton suit with cap sleeves and an inverted box pleat skirt that was appropriate for the late-August heat - and wildly discordant with the Red Hook offices of the graffiti magazine I had called twice to find. "

" In order to be a good emergency contact, you need a lot of friend-patience and empathy. Often, this comes from personal experience with anxiety, trauma, and depression. "

" Instagram is not a place for tone or irony. "

" Consider this: alms aside, Wikipedia is fueled by competitive pedantry and emo-ness. How great is that? "

" I always get super confused by the way we look at technology, because since when were all phone calls created equal? It's not like every text is the same or that all texts are human interactions that are compromised. I don't get how conduits somehow dictate sentiment. "

" I am anti-Halloween. "

" My sweet spot as a writer and, especially, as an essayist is sub-1500 words. "

" The notion of this 'emergency contact' is, Do you have someone who is holding you down? Do you know where to go if you're feeling bad? I keep likening it to assigning yourself a godparent of your choosing. "

" Manhattan, after eight years here, still reminds me of Hong Kong. There are parts of Chinatown that are the spit and image of streets in Wan Chai, and I am held in thrall by the Chrysler building as much as I was by I.M. Pei's Bank of China Tower. "

" The thing about leaving New York is that you can come back. "

" If you're holding your iPhone, and it's the newest iteration of it, you're like, 'Oh, famous people have my phone. Captains of industry have my phone.' And that can be an intoxicating experience for someone who is going off to college for the first time. "

" Home is where my house pants live. And they're hideous. "

" My mom is an excellent mom. She knows I am irascible, prickly, and antisocial. She knows that most human interaction makes me tired and that I either scare people away with precise invectives or trot out the fakest, nicest skinjob of myself because it requires zero effort. "

" Everyone is such a mystery, yet we chug along so much of the time presuming we're all on the same page. "

" Never post boring back-to-back selfies. "

" The first time I drank LaCroix, I half expected it to be filled with self-tanner. Or Axe body spray. "

" Jockeying for a popularity position has been a valorized teen tradition since the notion of a discrete teen stage of life was invented. "

" Bieber has taste and pull, which is as important to making quality pop as actual talent. "

" I just love the comics industry. "

" Have passion, yes, but acknowledge that side projects are still work. They shake things up, just like switching up your workout helps you stay one step ahead of your torpid metabolism. They scramble the synapses. "

" I've always been a texting advocate. "

" Reading aloud to other people is wonderful - if you have people who will suffer it. "

" Try life as your own boss, on your own voyage. No daily commute. No salad bar at 12:15. No cc'ing about the meeting. "

" Never post food on your Instagram. Nobody cares, and only old people do it. "