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" Every day of my life is a dream goal. "

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" I know I'm going to be doing standup for the rest of my life. "

" What amazes me is that the whole world is fascinated by Kim Kardashian. What's her talent? "

" Like everybody, I started out doing 'bringer' shows - the kind where if you show up with a certain number of people, you get to perform. Sometimes I would actually pay strangers off the street to come in and see my set. "

" My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but there's also the, 'Mmm - I didn't take that into consideration.' "

" My older brothers have their own children, and they have to go to soccer practice and football practice on the weekends. They're doing their thing and on the weekends, and I'm on the road. The busier we get, the less time we get to see each other. That's why, when we see each other, it's really, really kind of special. "

" If you're at the Comedy Store or the Laugh Factory or the Improv, even two minutes helps. You never know who might be in the audience. "

" I hate when rappers do interviews. They say stuff like, 'If I wasn't doing this, I'd be dead or in jail.' Like, damn, those are the only two options? What about managing Kinkos? "

" I've always been into stand-up, and I always wanted to be a comic because it was like the dream job as a kid, and my brother, being the patriarch, he paved the way. "

" My first stand-up experience, like most comics, was horrible. I got booed offstage. I thought I was funnier than I was. But the walk from the back of the room to the stage was the most excited I'd ever been about anything in my life other than kissing a girl. That's how I knew I had to get back onstage and do it again. "

" My pops, the whole time while I was growing up, was conscious of what we ate. He made sure we exercised and had time outside. He knew having a healthy lifestyle meant exercise. "

" I talk to the audience like I talk to my friends on the stoop. "

" I have seven brothers and sisters, and they could all be standup comics! "

Brothers And Sisters

" I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods. "

" Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things, like cooking. "

" It's part of the gift and the curse of coming behind my brother. I'm not afforded the luxury of just taking a set casual, taking the night off. Because if I bomb, it's, 'Oh, he's not funny - he's just doing it because of his brother.' "

" Nothing's given in the Rock family. "

" We weren't rich by any means, but we had each other, so we were rich in family. When you don't have a lot, it just fuels that creativity. So it manifested in us doing characters of people in the neighborhood or doing impersonations of Mom and Dad. The comedy bug, it takes over. "

" My brother nurtured the love of stand-up comedy in a skinny little black kid named Tony. "

" I will never be the comic that apologizes for telling a joke. "

" People say an Oscar validates your career. No, it doesn't. There's more good actors without Oscars than there are with Oscars. "

" You can live with diabetes. It's not the worst thing to have, but you have to manage yourself and have some self control. "

" My family is just naturally funny. "

" I saw my father every day of my childhood. "

" You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.' "

" If my sisters like something I do, then I'm very happy with it. I only listen to my sisters! "

" When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try. "

" I'm a skinny kid from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. "

" My father drove a truck, and my mother was a school teacher. They wanted their children to go the traditional route: get good grades, go to college, get a job. "

" Trouble was almost inevitable. I grew up with so many at-risk kids. Kids had things go wrong. "

" Any club has more than enough comics, so if you're not there every night talking to the booker, you're not going to get on. You have to be there more than they are. "