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" I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods. "

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" I know I'm going to be doing standup for the rest of my life. "

" We weren't rich by any means, but we had each other, so we were rich in family. When you don't have a lot, it just fuels that creativity. So it manifested in us doing characters of people in the neighborhood or doing impersonations of Mom and Dad. The comedy bug, it takes over. "

" Everybody cheats on the Kardashians. "

" Ask Frank Stallone how far your name gets you. "

" I talk to the audience like I talk to my friends on the stoop. "

" I never knew I was poor until I got older because we just had so much fun. I thought everyone had grilled cheese night and that everyone had Cup-O-Noodles for dinner on Fridays. "

" If my sisters like something I do, then I'm very happy with it. I only listen to my sisters! "

" I talk about everything - politics, the economy; the news will give you more material than you can ever use. But relationships? That's the ongoing battle. You talk about men and women, and across-the-board everyone can relate to that. "

" I'm a skinny kid from Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. "

" I saw my father every day of my childhood. "

" I hate when rappers do interviews. They say stuff like, 'If I wasn't doing this, I'd be dead or in jail.' Like, damn, those are the only two options? What about managing Kinkos? "

" Mexicans work so hard. Jamaicans are like, 'Hey mon. Take it easy. You work too 'ard.' Sneak into the country Sunday night, working Monday morning. "

" You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.' "

" Any club has more than enough comics, so if you're not there every night talking to the booker, you're not going to get on. You have to be there more than they are. "

" I have seven brothers and two sisters, so there was always a little friendly competition in the house. I don't think that's anything unusual with that many siblings. "

" I can make anything in the room funny in a few seconds. "

" My brother nurtured the love of stand-up comedy in a skinny little black kid named Tony. "

" It's too expensive to eat healthy. You ever go to Whole Foods? A carrot is, like, seven dollars. McDonald's got double cheeseburgers for a dollar. "

" I will never be the comic that apologizes for telling a joke. "

" Nothing's given in the Rock family. "

" When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try. "

" I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. "

" My pops, the whole time while I was growing up, was conscious of what we ate. He made sure we exercised and had time outside. He knew having a healthy lifestyle meant exercise. "

" My family is just naturally funny. "

" Women do so much aesthetically to attract men that they sometimes overlook the simple things, like cooking. "

" My first stand-up experience, like most comics, was horrible. I got booed offstage. I thought I was funnier than I was. But the walk from the back of the room to the stage was the most excited I'd ever been about anything in my life other than kissing a girl. That's how I knew I had to get back onstage and do it again. "

" I don't understand why black people feel this undying need to want to be down with white people all the time. "

" I went to a wedding in St. Maarten, and we took a boat ride over to Anguilla for a day. We went to a beach that had the whitest sand I had ever seen before in my life. I was in the water up to the middle of my chest and could still see my feet. It was the clearest water. "

" I keep saying this - and I keep putting it off because I get busy - but I keep saying one year I'm gonna tape our Thanksgiving dinner or, like, our Christmas dinner and maybe put it on my website just for people to see how funny it really is, how much fun it really, really is. "

" You can live with diabetes. It's not the worst thing to have, but you have to manage yourself and have some self control. "