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" People say an Oscar validates your career. No, it doesn't. There's more good actors without Oscars than there are with Oscars. "

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" Who's been loyal to a Kardashain? "

" I will never be the comic that apologizes for telling a joke. "

" Ask Frank Stallone how far your name gets you. "

" I know I'm going to be doing standup for the rest of my life. "

" I can make anything in the room funny in a few seconds. "

" My father drove a truck, and my mother was a school teacher. They wanted their children to go the traditional route: get good grades, go to college, get a job. "

" You know why kids don't eat fruits? Because fruits don't have any mascots. Every sugary cereal has a bear or a rabbit going , 'Kid! Eat it! Eat it, eat it, eat it!' You're a kid, you're like, 'I got to get that cereal.' "

" I love to eat. I'm a foodie, and when I'm on vacation, I want to be a foodie with their culture, with their foods. "

" My brother nurtured the love of stand-up comedy in a skinny little black kid named Tony. "

" You can live with diabetes. It's not the worst thing to have, but you have to manage yourself and have some self control. "

" I talk to the audience like I talk to my friends on the stoop. "

" My first stand-up experience, like most comics, was horrible. I got booed offstage. I thought I was funnier than I was. But the walk from the back of the room to the stage was the most excited I'd ever been about anything in my life other than kissing a girl. That's how I knew I had to get back onstage and do it again. "

" My favorite comics are the ones who say funny stuff but also give you the message. They give you the laughter, but there's also the, 'Mmm - I didn't take that into consideration.' "

" It's part of the gift and the curse of coming behind my brother. I'm not afforded the luxury of just taking a set casual, taking the night off. Because if I bomb, it's, 'Oh, he's not funny - he's just doing it because of his brother.' "

" You got to be willing to be knocked out to win a fight. You got to be willing to get booed off the stage to get a standing ovation. "

" When I was growing up, I was really into comedy. I listened to a lot of comedy albums. I loved Richard Pryor, but the comic that had the most impact on me was always my brother Chris, who was in the next room. It was tangible. If Chris could make it, I could try. "

" I keep saying this - and I keep putting it off because I get busy - but I keep saying one year I'm gonna tape our Thanksgiving dinner or, like, our Christmas dinner and maybe put it on my website just for people to see how funny it really is, how much fun it really, really is. "

" I was on the school bus telling Richard Pryor jokes. I was sneaking, listening to Richard Pryor albums and would go to school the next day, tell all the jokes, and get in trouble because I was cursing. "

" I was depressed for a long time. "

" If my sisters like something I do, then I'm very happy with it. I only listen to my sisters! "

" I have seven brothers and sisters, and they could all be standup comics! "

Brothers And Sisters

" Trouble was almost inevitable. I grew up with so many at-risk kids. Kids had things go wrong. "

" I hate when rappers do interviews. They say stuff like, 'If I wasn't doing this, I'd be dead or in jail.' Like, damn, those are the only two options? What about managing Kinkos? "

" I've always been into stand-up, and I always wanted to be a comic because it was like the dream job as a kid, and my brother, being the patriarch, he paved the way. "

" Everybody cheats on the Kardashians. "

" I haven't been offstage for more than two days since I started doing comedy. "

" Nobody needs a chitlin. "

" My older brothers have their own children, and they have to go to soccer practice and football practice on the weekends. They're doing their thing and on the weekends, and I'm on the road. The busier we get, the less time we get to see each other. That's why, when we see each other, it's really, really kind of special. "

" New York is home. It's so unique that there is no other place like it. "

" Nothing's given in the Rock family. "