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" Everybody's funny-looking. "

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" I'm looking forward to working for the 'Tribune' because any company that can invest in the Chicago Cubs has a view of the future we cannot begin to comprehend. "

" I thought that through the strip, I could vent my spleen and be funny at the same time. But when it comes to humor, there's no substitute for reality and politicians. "

" Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this will come out. We certainly hope it comes out fine; blah, blah.' Cartoonists don't go that way. Our job is to stick out our tongues, to show a big raspberry to whatever pompous jerk happens to be mouthing off. "

" I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes. I always forget the punch line. "

" That really has been my message over the years: 'Hey, we're all in this together, so let's laugh about it a little, please.' It adds perspective to an argument if you know where you're coming from. "

" The best thing for my creative process is a deadline. "

" Political cartoonists get hung up on daily deadlines and the front page. The worst thing you can do is open up the newspaper and ask, 'What's funny about this?' "

" I don't need a lot of attention. I'd much rather have the work be famous than the face be famous. "

" The problem when you're a cartoonist and you go into the voting booth is that you have your choice of two guys - one would be best for your country, and one would be best for your business. "

" I really do have a self-censorship problem, which isn't the way you should be if you're a cartoonist. "

" The best cartoons have no words at all - just the image pops out. "

" I look at people, and I like to laugh at them. "

" Because of my grey hair and glasses, people think I'm Phil Donahue. "

" If you're a balanced cartoonist, you're not a cartoonist. You definitely have to have a bias. "