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" The problem when you're a cartoonist and you go into the voting booth is that you have your choice of two guys - one would be best for your country, and one would be best for your business. "

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" I look at people, and I like to laugh at them. "

" I'm looking forward to working for the 'Tribune' because any company that can invest in the Chicago Cubs has a view of the future we cannot begin to comprehend. "

" That really has been my message over the years: 'Hey, we're all in this together, so let's laugh about it a little, please.' It adds perspective to an argument if you know where you're coming from. "

" Everybody's funny-looking. "

" My father was very methodical about life. He'd always ask me, 'Now, what's your system? What's your schedule like?' I have no big system, no rigid schedule. When he would ask, 'How do you do this? Give it to me step by step,' I'd try to convince him that there were no step-by-steps. "

" I thought that through the strip, I could vent my spleen and be funny at the same time. But when it comes to humor, there's no substitute for reality and politicians. "

" The best thing for my creative process is a deadline. "

" I really do have a self-censorship problem, which isn't the way you should be if you're a cartoonist. "

" Because of my grey hair and glasses, people think I'm Phil Donahue. "

" If you're a balanced cartoonist, you're not a cartoonist. You definitely have to have a bias. "

" The best cartoons have no words at all - just the image pops out. "

" Political cartoonists get hung up on daily deadlines and the front page. The worst thing you can do is open up the newspaper and ask, 'What's funny about this?' "

" Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this will come out. We certainly hope it comes out fine; blah, blah.' Cartoonists don't go that way. Our job is to stick out our tongues, to show a big raspberry to whatever pompous jerk happens to be mouthing off. "

" I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes. I always forget the punch line. "