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" Football, played at its highest level, is catastrophic. Even relatively minor afflictions are grotesque and bookworthy. "
Steve Rushin
Level
Football
Even
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" The most enduring Top 10 ever written wasn't written at all, but chiseled onto stone tablets and conveyed down Mount Sinai by Moses, who introduced to the world not just a set of Biblical precepts but also a new format for starting arguments: the list of 10 things. "
Steve Rushin
World
Top
Down
" Once upon a time in America, people aspired to party like a rock star. Now, rock stars aspire to party like a football owner. "
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America
Stars
" Outside Buckingham Palace, the Royal Standard flies only when the reigning monarch is in residence. Sadly, there's no similar flag outside The Woods Jupiter, which Tiger opened in the summer of 2015, spending a reported $8 million to make an upscale sports bar-and-restaurant in his image. "
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Tiger
Woods
Summer
" I remember seeing Letterman do stand-up on 'The Tonight Show.' Or, it's probably more accurate to say, I remember hearing him do stand-up, because the Carson show existed mainly as sound leaking under my bedroom door at night. I'd hear Johnny telling jokes and my dad laughing at them. "
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Seeing
Door
Him
" In our age of over-sharing, we know everything about everyone else, robbing them of mystery and thus of power. "
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Power
Our
" What's the best baseball name of all time? Is it Champ Summers? Clyde Kluttz? Razor Shines? Scipio Spinks? Sibby Sisti? Creepy Crespi? Before you answer, consider that Coco Crisp is not even the game's top Coco, an honor retired by Coco Laboy. "
Steve Rushin
Time
Best
Baseball
" Sam Snead had perhaps the most stylish solution to the balding golfer: A snappy fedora that became his signature style, so much so that many never knew he was tonsorially bereft. "
Steve Rushin
Style
Most
Never
" I turned 7 in 1973 and remember Bobby Riggs arriving at the Astrodome on a chariot pulled by showgirls before his 'battle of the sexes' tennis match against Billie Jean King. "
Steve Rushin
Remember
Against
Battle
" There is something inherently foolish in soldiering on when there is no hope of payoff. "
Steve Rushin
Something
Foolish
Hope
" I had started writing for 'Sports Illustrated,' which was really my dream job growing up. But the writing probably read like I was auditioning to write for 'Letterman' or '70s-era Carson. "
Steve Rushin
Job
Growing Up
Dream
" History is not just written by the winners; it's written about them. "
Steve Rushin
About
Just
Them
" The real driver of my golf game is family. The family that plays together stays together, at least literally so. "
Steve Rushin
Family
Together
Real
" If you own face paint and a bulb horn and you're not a circus clown, you might be uncool. "
Steve Rushin
Paint
Own
Clown
" I can't stand another night in a hotel. Just being away. You miss the kids. "
Steve Rushin
Night
Just
Hotel
" My first interview at 'SI,' I sat in silence next to Guy LaFleur for five minutes on the New York Rangers team bus until he finally broke the ice. Those early interviews, every one of them was like a terrible first date. "
Steve Rushin
Early
Bus
Team
" That's what Letterman did. He mocked everything and everyone in show business, even though he was at the top of show business. He was in it but not really of it, and that's one thing I came to love about him. I mean, you can't sit there and interview Cher and pretend you're not in show business, but he managed to pull it off somehow. "
Steve Rushin
Business
Him
Interview
" Headline writers love the phrase 'Power Grab,' but you can't really grab it, can you? Power is a greased watermelon, a wisp of smoke, difficult to grasp, harder to hold, impossible to control while getting both feet down in bounds. "
Steve Rushin
Power
Feet
Love
" Recording shows for later viewing is what TV types call 'time-shifting.' It's a beguiling idea. "
Steve Rushin
Idea
Later
TV
" Nouns are seldom improved by the modifier 'public.' Few of us, given a private alternative, prefer public restrooms or public transportation or public displays of affection. "
Steve Rushin
Us
Transportation
Public
" At its root, 'quit' means 'to set free' - think of an acquittal in a court of law - and to quit is often to be liberated. "
Steve Rushin
Court
Think
Root
" Just in the last week of his life, you could have seen him at Walgreens or at the Electric Fetus, where he often shopped for records - an astonishing sight, like the Mona Lisa taking in her own portrait at the Louvre. Prince, paradoxically, was reclusive but always around. "
Steve Rushin
Sight
Week
You
" I can't putt. The reasons are infinite. When lining up a putt, I can't remember if the ball always breaks to the ocean or to the valley or away from Pinnacle Peak. And because I took up the game in Minnesota, in what is often called Middle America, I also grew up asking, 'To which ocean does it break?' "
Steve Rushin
Ocean
Always
America
" Cinderella is older than she lets on. She's ancient. She's had work done. The Disney film was based on Charles Perreault's French story 'Cendrillon,' published in 1697. "
Steve Rushin
Work
Older
She
" On its surface, the HBO documentary series 'Hard Knocks,' about the New York Jets' training camp, resembles another HBO series, 'The Sopranos.' Both star the stout patriarch of a New Jersey 'family' preoccupied with food, intimidation, and florid profanity. "
Steve Rushin
New
New York
Training
" My wife is an Olympic gold medalist, WNBA All-Star, 'Jeopardy!' champion, and Rhodes Scholarship finalist who was sung to by President Clinton, sung about by Ludacris, and serenaded on 'Sesame Street' by a chorus of Muppets. "
Steve Rushin
Street
President
Gold
" You never forget your first felony. Mine was mail tampering. As a hoops-crazed 13-year-old, I rifled through a new neighbor's mailbox to confirm that the occupant of the split-level on 98 1/2 Street in Bloomington, Minn., really was former Gophers basketball star Flip Saunders. "
Steve Rushin
Never Forget
Basketball
You
" As a bald man who happens to play golf, or a golfer who happens to be bald, I'll never know the pleasures of a golf visor. "
Steve Rushin
Golf
Play
Never
" I'd never had much interest in cool cars. "
Steve Rushin
Cool
Never
Much
" After the abrupt death of my mother, Jane, on Sept. 5, 1991, of a disease called amyloidosis, my dad took up golf at 57. He and my mother had always played tennis - a couples' game of mixed doubles and tennis bracelets and Love-Love. But in mourning, Dad turned Job-like to golf, a game of frustration and golf widows and solitary hours on the range. "
Steve Rushin
Golf
Death
Frustration
" Hype is supposed to overpromise and underdeliver, not overpromise and overdeliver. Usually, it doesn't deliver at all - it takes your money and keeps your pizza. "
Steve Rushin
Money
Hype
Pizza