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" Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education. "

Chuck Palahniuk

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" The most boring scenes are the scenes where a character is alone. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Jack Palance was my distant uncle - that's the family gossip. Growing up, my family knew everything about his face getting burned and scarred in the military and how that mutilation led him to become such a famous 'heavy' in films. I prayed for good scars of my own. Not just acne scars. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You can tell a more over-the-top incredible story if you use a nonfiction form. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I don't care what they do with my book so long as the flippin check clears. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The first step to eternal life is you have to die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My books are all fantastically sentimental. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I'm always trying to reach a transcendent point, a romantic point, but reach it in a really unconventional way, a really profane way. To get to that romantic, touching, heartbreaking place, but through a lot of acts of profanity. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think that I am responsible for the death of thousands of things and for the misery of thousands of people, just through the things that I buy and how I live my life, and these are not things that ever deserved to die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Personal identity seems like it's just such an American archetype, from Holly Golightly re-inventing herself in 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' to Jay Gatsby in 'The Great Gatsby.' It seems like the sort of archetypal American issue. If you're given the freedom to be anything, or be anyone, what do you do with it? "

Chuck Palahniuk

" There's a moment in every book when the book turns and it surprises me. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Your life isn't about doing one perfect 'thing' and then falling down dead. It's more like going to church or writing a book. You do it over and over, always trying to be a little bit better. Then you die. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" It takes a lot to get people talking in airplanes. But once they start talking, you just can't shut them up. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet them. You see in their eyes that they expected something so entirely different, and here they are meeting... you. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My policy is to not read any reviews. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The folks who read my books are so passionate about each one of them that the people making my movies are more afraid of my readership than they are of me. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" You realize you have no control over how you're perceived. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I've always been very curious about fringe cultures where people temporarily adopt a different social model or way of presenting themselves. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" In 'Diary,' the motto really is: 'Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?' It coaches us to be aware of our motives and not just be a reaction to the circumstances around us. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" 'Romance' is based on my entire creative process. I fall in love with an idea, obsess over it, isolate myself with it, and when I eventually introduce it to my friends, they all tell me that it's stupid. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Masochism is a valuable job skill. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" As a lower-class kid, I was raised to think success would be owning stuff. Having that great job, too. Now I find my parents' dream was wrong. You never really own anything. And you're never really finished as a person. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" Most novels, I find, are three times longer than they need to be. Very little happens, and I don't want to waste my time with them. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" A short story is something that you can hold in your mind. You can really analyze how the entire thing works, like a machine. "

Chuck Palahniuk

" I think it's more important to write something that brings men back to reading than it is to write for people who already read. There's a reason men don't read, and it's because books don't serve men. It's time we produce books that serve men. "

Chuck Palahniuk