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" I almost choke on my popcorn when I hear film stars, who walk on red carpets as much as the rest of us do on zebra crossings, criticising youngsters who crave fame. "

Julie Burchill

Film

Fame

Red

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" I wouldn't know how to fool a man any more. My deceiving days seem so long ago. "

Julie Burchill

Days

Fool

" Because I was an only, I had more things, and I remember early on the kick I got from giving stuff away. Despite all the myths about only children not being able to share, actually I've never knowingly met a stingy one. "

" Sadly, a lot of what passes for feminism these days is just moaning about men, congratulating ourselves on nothing in particular, and mocking them for being big kids while doing everything we can to keep them that way. "

" Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index. "

" My dad didn't drive - the only dad I knew who didn't. "

" Knowing that the 'Sex and the City' chicks now rack up almost two centuries between them, why do some of us fuss and hiss about a bit of retouching on their forthcoming film poster? "

" As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money. "

" I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts. "

" No one knows 'men' as such, any more than anyone knows 'women,' and if they do generalise they're probably trying to hide their own ignorance. You might know one 'man,' yes, or even lots of individual 'men'. "

" I'll declare my own interest right here at the start and admit that, like the vast majority of people, I find youthful looks appealing. "

" I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness. "

" There's something brave and touching about game girls of all ages keeping themselves smart in hard times - one thinks of those wonderful women during World War II drawing stocking seams in eyebrow pencil up the back of legs stained with gravy browning because nylons were so hard to get hold of. "

" When I moved to Brighton from London in 1995, I was struck by what I thought of as its townliness. A town, it seemed to me, was that perfect place to live, neither city nor country, both of which like to think they are light years apart but actually have a great deal in common. "

" To believe that one, or even three, mates can supply all the things one needs from one's friends is as stupid as believing married couples must do everything together. "

" These women whose antics we smirk at good-naturedly in the pap-traps put themselves out there at least partly on their beauty; they are in showbiz, and showing what they've got is part of their business as much as it is for male show-ponies from the Chippendales to George Clooney. "

" Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.' "

" Shame, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder. "

Julie Burchill

Shame

Beauty

" 'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification. "

" It may be a cliche, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself. "

" It's very hard to imagine the phrase 'consumer society' used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England. "

" Families, generally, suck. And I say that as someone who, like my husband, had parents who proved the proverbial exception to the rule. "

Julie Burchill

Someone

Say

" Having 'best friends' is - at least for me - as outdated and small-minded a concept as the idea of 'Sunday best clothes.' "

" A therapist might suggest my generosity is a way of buying affection. But buying people's love has never been an issue for me. Generally speaking, I don't want their love. "

Julie Burchill

People

Love

" Being a monarchist, and fawning over those 'above' you, you must naturally despise those 'below' or on the same socioeconomic level as yourself, because that is how hierarchy worship works. "

" People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial. "

" Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist. "

" Monarchists frequently declare that without the royal family, Britain would be 'nothing.' What a woeful lack of love for one's country such statements express. "

" It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly. "

" When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio? "

" What I find most upsetting about this new all-consuming beauty culture is that the obsession with good looks, and how you can supposedly attain them, is almost entirely female-driven. "