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" I wouldn't know how to fool a man any more. My deceiving days seem so long ago. "
Julie Burchill
More
Days
Fool
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" To believe that one, or even three, mates can supply all the things one needs from one's friends is as stupid as believing married couples must do everything together. "
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" As with most liberal sexual ideas, what makes the world a better place for men invariably makes it a duller and more dangerous place for women. "
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" People often yearn back to more innocent times, but more and more, as I get older, I find myself hankering after more jaded days. "
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" A woman who looks like a girl and thinks like a man is the best sort, the most enjoyable to be and the most pleasurable to have and to hold. "
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" I believe, literally, in the God of the Old Testament, whom I understand as the Lord of the Jews and the Protestants. I'm a Christian Zionist, as well as a Christian feminist and a Christian socialist. "
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Christian
I Believe
Old
" As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man. "
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Woman
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" I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts. "
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Moral
" The secret is not to care what anyone thinks of you. "
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" I am firmly of the opinion that women who make a lot of effort to hang onto their looks in middle age (unless they are beauties, entertainers or prostitutes) are rather sad, as one should surely have something more substantial to recommend one by this time, such as kindness or cleverness. "
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" Sadly, a lot of what passes for feminism these days is just moaning about men, congratulating ourselves on nothing in particular, and mocking them for being big kids while doing everything we can to keep them that way. "
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Men
Doing
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" Monarchists frequently declare that without the royal family, Britain would be 'nothing.' What a woeful lack of love for one's country such statements express. "
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Royal
Country
Family
" I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances. "
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Violence
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" Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart; Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire. "
Julie Burchill
Weekend
Heart
Beautiful
" People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial. "
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People
Pleasure
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" Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable. "
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Being
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" Shame, like beauty, is often in the eye of the beholder. "
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Shame
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Beauty
" Show me a frigid women and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man. "
Julie Burchill
Women
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Me
" It may be a cliche, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself. "
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Much
True
Christmas
" Knowing that the 'Sex and the City' chicks now rack up almost two centuries between them, why do some of us fuss and hiss about a bit of retouching on their forthcoming film poster? "
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City
Why
Sex
" Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.' "
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Love
Question
Men
" As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined. "
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" Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable. "
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" Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years. "
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Years
Think
Restless
" It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us. "
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London
" What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway? "
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" When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio? "
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" Can I just say here how much I hate the word 'pamper'? While pretending to celebrate and indulge women, it actually implies that their bodies are so revolting that even their 'me time' must be dedicated to turning them into living dolls if potential suitors are to be prevented from running screaming in horror. "
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Time
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Hate
" What men don't want, in fact what anyone who's any sort of thrill-seeking, intelligent adult doesn't want, is some crushing bore describing their emotions in real time every waking hour. "
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Emotions
Men
Time
" I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in some touchy-feely quarters, that all women are, or can be, beautiful. "
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People
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" And call me a pig, but isn't it brilliantly refreshing how early the Dutch eat dinner? When they're still laying out the cutlery in achingly hip Barcelona, they're hanging the Closed sign on the restaurant doors of old Amsterdam. "
Julie Burchill
Early
Restaurant
Dinner